Nai - Nai Became

Hey nai - nai just means a shower.. (In my case, a bath :P)
With gifts.. :D

I got a yellow t-shirt and a yellow belt courtesy Sneha and Vanessa respectively.. :D

Today has been peaceful... but I can't seem to say Thank God.. I do feel bad about it..

Maybe I should read more books..

I just got news about my best friends at a different cross..eeeps.. Did I speak too soon?

Tomorrow there's a 'bandh' means chuti chuti chuti from college.. Wait its not confirmed.. Have to wait till the morning..

Publicity

I looked all around... Yeah I was surrounded by it. Definitely, I was the first one to find out but now there are more and more people who know about it. Most of them say the same thing and I convince them back in the same manner.. They are not really convinced but that's a different thing.. We usually leave it to let it be for now..

I am back to my dearest goats, noisy little kids, random guys who find only our flat below which they want to stand and try some stuff with their bike (basically make noise...) and my unexpected best friends.. Yes, I started already :P

Was sort of missing college and some friends here and cannot wait for the results.. Come out already, will you..

As I already wrote to a friend.. My trip felt like the blink of an eye but nevertheless it was obviously a lot of fun..

Talk about updating even when you have absolutely nothing to say...

*Gone to get a life*

I Can Finally Count :)

Yeah so today after a week of running around, they finally told us that we cannot write the additional english supplementary paper.. They are busy people and they cannot reset and reschedule an entire paper just for the three of us despite the fact that it was the english and the examination department's fault.. Ok stop! this after ages and after recurring blah posts, is meant to be a happy one...

Like I said the good thing out of the whole shit with additional english paper is that I can finally count days.. 18th morning dude.. Inshallah.. Cuckud isa in the emirates flight to Dubai... :D

So thats not the reason why I came to blog.. I mean yes that is a big deal but something really small and sweet touched me today... So you know I am the senstive and the emotional types and all.. No, really, I haven't been the lucky kind to have really sweet people around me but today I just got a dose from a few of them... 4 to be precise... :)

I don't know... For so many people that I have met do not seem to register or feel an imapct by an everyday trivial matter which involves the goodness on someone else's part. Or, maybe, they do not make a prominent acknowledgment.. For me, it's different and I simply love it when I am subjected to such an event in life.. I have to mention it, at least here..

Hence, I write, because I owe you a thanks today! Sacchi and Meaning Wala!

Happy Dusshera!

You thought Ganesh Chaturthi was bad? Guess what today is 'Happy Dusshera!!!'

The trauma I felt today is something that I had never experienced in a while..

The tornado of tears, the breathlessness like a candle flickering before its about to die out, the shivering like a mobile phone vibrating, and the abuses and the curses which could challenge the Satan..

If I only knew about how Dusshera is going to be, I wouldn't have fought with Ganesh dude...

Tomorrow I have abnormal psychology.. I had only one more chapter before I would be done and only revision would have been left.. But yeah they chased me off...

I can recall that image, the image of celebration... Some blurred lights and the king of lights in the centre.. There was quite a bit of red and a lot of blurred white.. The sounds I had drained out using my mp3 but I could still hear a little like they were many a doors (shut) away and were opening that one door at that time in slow motion.. The rest of the doors they would have opened by now but I escaped in a vehicle named auto rickshaw which fleeced me off by 6 rupees..

I can feel a headache coming... No it can't come because I still have studying to do! Right!

Happy Dusshera... I am happy for Lord Ram who defeated Ravana and returned to Ayodhya today, some zillions of years ago..

As I Thought

Friends... Do they even exist?
The smallest portion I can think of... Maybe..?
So that is also a doubt..

I am telling you, it's just you at the end of the day..
And from the beginning till you reach the end,
you maybe lucky that things happen your way
or you are the compromising fool,
or the dominant personality!

Mutuality never lasts forever..
Not even for the small portion..
In that case, mirror will be my best friend forever..

But man is a 'social' animal..
So the rest are ice cubes that
you form and have till they melt away
and then it's the end of the day..

Shit

I just found out today that I didn't know where Oxford and Howard universities are... At that time it was a big shock for the people around me and I realized that I was quite embarrassed.. well ok so I never thought about it! whatever! talk about escapism... :P tsk tsk!!

So i learnt two new words today... queasy - feeling sick and gunk - any sticky or greasy residue or accumulation... wait i did not learn them.. I was merely notified about their existence...

Have started playing basketball again with a classmate (Sneha).. feels great to be playing again... except waking up early is such a drag... well its always been... but who cares...

Hey film got over... practicals went very well...it finally came to be called "Vigilante".. its ironic but as much as I hated the stress while we were busy with film, I totally miss it now.. there are still a few changes to be made and we are hopefully entering it into lot of festivals... lets see..

As of now, I can't wait to finish my exams and fly off to Dubai...shit and I feel the need of a countdown... 18 days more... :)

*Off to wash her plate*

Today Was MY DAY

And the trauma continues... I always keep saying "I know I am jinxed."

Today the jinx proved itself.. actually starting yesterday..

Ganesh dude seems to have gone home some 5 days back.. but the torture doesn't seem to cease..

19th September, 2008 -Indranagar - Anup's place - Editing - Boom!

20th September, 2008 - Indranagar - The Village - Vanny's treat - Boom!

20th September, 2008 - Vasant Nagar - Home - Ran from Vanny's treat - Boom!
(Note - I confirmed the situation in Vasant Nagar before i left.. It was just nice enough to start 10 minutes after i reach home)

20th September, 2008 - M. G. Road - On the way to Taika - Before clubbing - Single Boom!

20th September, 2008 - Vasant Nagar - Home - Returning from clubbing - Boom!
(Note - I confirmed the situation again.. And yet again it was nice enough to start 5 minutes after i reach home)

I wonder what turning deaf feels like.. I wonder what dying of a heart attack feels like :P I wonder how the whole therapy business works?

Exams are coming soon... If this is the way it goes, then possible distinction bye-bye for one more semester..

And right now, Cuckud turns her back to the world..! Goodnight!

My Letter To 'You'

If you exist, you jolly well read this!

You do need to realize that I am not a fucking weila loser. I am neither going to sit in this bloody room every evening till about 1 a.m. in the morning in the constant fear of something happening or blasting my poor ears with music for hours at a stretch and turning myself deaf..Nor can I keep blasting my ears every time I enter and exit Vasant Nagar or my house in Vasant Nagar.

It was not my brilliant choice of shifting here in this shit hole home country of mine for education. Also, right now when I think, I have enough issues to take care of related to college and other small random ones. I CLEARLY DO NOT need the brownie of you know what!

I cannot live in this constant fearful life ok! Do u even know the 'L' of living in a life of this kind? Do you know what it feels like? Do you how the ego hurts when you have soo much of it and don't know where to shove it at times like these? How many of us do you think like blocked noses and swollen eyes? A day of torture... Another...Another...and Another....Who the hell do you think I am to go on and on and on and hear the freaky losers of my area at it and get freaked out..

Face it!! Excuse me??? who the fuck are you to tell me to face it and why should I when I wasn't the one who built it in me... Why should I compromise everyday on random things and other celebrations and whatever because of some non living thing that break dances in the sky or does the snake dance on the floor...And while its at it, it screams out "Look at me..Look at me...I am so cool" Fuck you!!!!
________________________________________________

So be wise and keep on reading the signs of my body..... Shakira... right now the beats from the song and the beats outside seem to mix and.... no fighting...no fighting... (music continues)

Quiz tomorrow...you think you are going to be nice enough and let me study? because I am not the kind who can study with music in my ears.. As I see it, morning is my only best friend right now..

Once again, with lots of love (that's combining all that I have given out so far to everyone possible and whatever I have at this point of time) FUCK YOU!

Ganesh Dude Does The Salsa

Yuppp...you won't believe how traumatized i have been since the last week.. yeah man... in the name of ganeshji, all the freaky losers of our beloved country are making my life a prettyness hell! ok ok i am talking about Bangalore. I have shifted to Vasant Nagar and as much as i like the fact that i am here, i totally hate it at the same time :(

Film progess is going great. Can't wait to see it. Shooting was damn tiring but that much of fun. 12 hours of super cool efforts :)

Sneha's birthday treat was damn nice. Food was heaven. Her mum is adorale. lol. She and sana were damn understanding about the bitch of my life, so happy came.

Appetite is gone for a toss. All i think about is sleeping. And now i am just blabbering so i will just stop. I wanted to whine about Ganesh Dude festival and consequences on my life so aaah!!

Goodnight!

Gets Better Everyday

I still think its damn funny because while i do other random things, i have millions of thoughts running through the head.. i filter them while they come and sort of collect a few which i think are worthy enough to put it here.. but as soon as i see the pretty blank space where you can write a new post, whooosh!!!

Today, a weird thing knocked in the head...while heading back home from sigma mall, while i was in the auto, i told the rick guy to take a u-turn at this one point.. and i continued to give him an explanation as to why i 'told' him to take a u-turn but in my head..(the reason i gave him an explanation is because one of the previous times when i was headed back and kept directing the auto guy, hes like madam i know the way..) and while i was talking to the former rick guy in the head, for a second, i couldn't differentiate the fact that i told him to take a u-turn or spoke that also in my head!

www.dictionary.com has become my new best friend...sometimes i look up things that i do know that i know...

There is a certain amount of depersonalization...i do not get excited for the most things that i think i would get excited for...

Hey i have another best friend...My Ego...the freak is damn persistent..won't budge only...we have tiffs, lot of them, but because the situation calls for it and as soon as its over, it will come running back and hug my thoughts so tightly that i feel guilty that i disappointed my ego...

I now, get scared of people who talk around me..what if the next word or sentence they are going to say is something that i don't understand or know..i am damn conscious of spellings, vocabulary and the best - pronunciations..

The last weekend was a long one because of independence day.. did absolutely nothing fruitful of course, felt useless and bored but one phone call totally random made my day..

Sometimes i blame my family background, sometimes Dubai, sometimes i think its just an articulation problem and other times i am not sure what i thought which came and went and i didn't even realize..

Its irritating.. i do things and can almost imagine the consequences..most of the times, the expected happens...other times its different... i still do those things..like if it has come, it has to be done.. yayi!! i am back rhyming for a bit...

Its damn funny..right now i know what i am thinking but it doesn't bloody flow out of the brain area and reach the fingers so that they can type.. but they still type assuming this is what it is...

Repeat..Repetitions..Repeat...Repetitions... and the usual, i see Meenal standing over my head and just smiling..

Ssshhh...Calm!

Neutrality.
Stress.
Isolation.
Ego.
Thoughts.
Naivety.
Hut.
Relations.
Uncertainity.

Open your palms child :)

I Didn't Know This Would Happen

Hey bloggie!

Well i never xpected myself to abandon the blogsphere fer almost 3 mnths.. i dunno...either i lost the drift of reportin every random thing or my life has been uneventful from the last post orrr hey wait i didnt hav internet access here until recently...watever...moving on...

The semester opened with a lot of hopes coz we r makin a film diz year....u no how i hate misleaders coz dats a form of lying and dats xactly wht happened....my colg....freakss...wait i think i wud call dem FREAKS!!! yeah much better... sooo all the papers wich we thought we had xemption frm hav to b ritten diz sem and the next sem...wich means we hav 10 papers to rite this n next sem...look the problem is not freakin out bout passing u no...i m sorry but i m quitee smart... the problem is givin us hopes wid sayin we r xempted and den bang!!

Well i seem to b gettin better wid every sem....no actually i have screwed my tests i feel but i got an A++ fer a review of Pather Panchali.. (a bengali movie we watched recently) mine was the best in class :)

Right now life's pretty much bout psychology and literature wich is quite sad...however, abnormal psychology keeps gettin better wid every class...i cant believe how much i can relate to every disorder we r being taught....lol yeah i no its not a gud thing...but at the same time its fun...in the sense to let ur imagination run wild...

As pointed out by a frd, a little wile ago, i m suddenly conscious of how big my paunch is....so i m gonna start dieting...i duno wht kind and how long it will last but i wana surprise a few ppl...and frm next post onwards, i will rite in proper english...

Ta

Once Upon A Time

She choked the baby for a few seconds

the baby started crying

She caressed the baby.."how can i do this to you?"

The baby stoped crying

*Repeat process*

*Memory*
*Reality of a time or an Overactive Imagination*

As Usual

I m back to saying 'am i jinxed or am i jinxed?!!! damnit....

For starters, i hav a baddd cold wich entered my nose today mornin....oh n i m not attacked by one but 2 'Cs' one is cold n other one is chums... yayiii!!! The sound of 2 Cs reminded me of psychology..nevermind...

Next, why do u think i m not surprised dat outta all my friends i m the only one whoz not got an internship yet...a frd asked if i wana do pr but hell i m not sure man...n i dun hav time or choice to think u no...ders another fer online advertising but ders no guarantee dat i can get that...n the best is i don't get advice frm anyone...not a decision but how bout a suggestion u no...dats not too much to ask fer...

Lastly, to irritate, no matter how hard i try to post sumthin worthwile to read, i end up putting whine posts or rather dese days dey r not xactly whining but informative problem posts...omgg i m too much..i think my cold has gotten to me...

Goodnite... i think dats best right now...

Parking Stealer

So i am back since the 20th mornin..yea 2 days...n today i went to play bball wid my gang....cant tell u how kewl it felt...really now...but newaz wen i got back, as usuall the parkin was sucha prick below ma house...today cuckud fought wid a man in parkin...

Ok i was in the 1st lane fer parking. i was driving slowly wen i saw a car cumin out behind...so i check if the car wich was a lil away frm the former car was plannin to park n it totally didnt seem like it...well he had his headlights off and he didnt indicate anddd he made no attempt to move closer to the car coming out...hence, i reversed ma car to park, gave indication and waited...as soon as the merc got out, this freak had the audacity to conviniently ignore my indication, my non - stop blarin of horn (courtesy wich crowd of some 3-4 collected) at him and parks in 'suppose to be my parkin'

Since he didnt lisn i got down frm my car n went to giv him a piece of my mind...

Meenal: dunt u hav no sense...how can u jus get in there n park...didnt u see ma car waitin der? i was indicating and i was honkin fer so long....u didnt even seem to hear dat n how can u jus park like diz?

Parking Stealer: Wht i was waiting behind since a long time..i saw the parkin gettin empty so i came and parked ma car...

Meenal: Excuze me! u did not indicate n i reversed first n indicated..so i shud b goin in there..u cannot jus conviniently drive in there and park..

Parking Stealer: But i was waitin fer a long time n i came so now wht u want me to do... (starts to roll up the window)

Meenal: (a slight pause..completely taken aback by his manner) (voice raised) u hav absolutely no respect fer women...this is shit...(walks but looks back n screams freak at him)

(Man startin to get out to go...crowd starin at the tiny 5 feet gurl and murmuring...meenal goes back to car to leave...hears police whistle...looks around...doesnt see ne1 but police dude cums to her window askin wht happnd...meenal repeats the incident...one person frm crown backs up her story..police dude asks parking stealer to back out the car..parking stealer does so without any complaint or even a word..meenal parks...comes out n from crowd guy who backed up and another guy were conversing bout the incident)

Another Guy: Woh aadmi kab se khada tha...actually ussi ka parking tha...woh pehele se khada tha..

(meenal gives previous guy a look)

Crowd Guy: (turns to meenal) u r lucky u got parking coz otherwise it is very difficult over here...

(meenal feels like laughin coz she drives and parks der almost everyday...

Meenal: its not bout luck or nethin...dat guy didnt show indication, didnt even cum forward or nethin...i checked dat frm my mirror and den only i backed up fer parking and indicated...after dat he cannot jus cum der n park...his name aint ritten der or sumthin...its bout that..

Crowd Guy: yeah dats why i favoured u wen the policeman asked no...

Meenal: yeah i no....(shrugs n starts to walk)

End

P.S. Happy 150th post to ma bloggie...

Ting Tong

Once in a while i jus tend to have dese weird days n thoughts fer np apparent reason...yeah since ysterday i m havin one of those days agn... :P haha dat cracked me upp....!

Welll i read a few thingis, i remembered a few thingis and......

I wish u were a 'little' like wht u were before...

I wish i cud undo the horrible things i did frm my part to u....

I wish i had learnt my person lesson earlier in life....

However, i still, no matter wht, as usual, am proud of myself....da greatly proud is yet to cum but i do luv meself despite all the shit...

P.S - the 'U's in the 1st two wish statements are 2 different ppl...

Randomness...

Non - Teenage Gurl

Heylooo.....i hav been quite lazy dese days...sheesh...well lets c....cuckud turned 20 on monday, 31st march...lot of fun came....at 12 i was bizi studyin the general well-being experiment from my psychology record book....den the gang cums in wid a cutee card and hersheys chocolates....nish n farz gave me cards too...

Bday mornin cuckud woke up n dressed all pretty in red shalwar kameez...alll confident fer the practical xam wich went really well n i will b so disappointed if i get nethin less dan 23.....i was surprized with number of ppl frm my class who new it was my bday but habbie came...after xam, at sneha' pg we were deciding on a place to go fer lunch...20 feet high was the chosen one...i got my 1st gift fer the day in her pg dat time...genelee got me a 'yellow' :) folder n a pretty book of handmade papers...of course the yellow handmade paper luks the prettiest....sitara, sneha, sana and aditi gave me a pretttyyy bedspread (informed recently dat it aint bedsheet) since i m movin to me new flat by tomm hopefully.... the above mentioned names + nish, van, farz, mridula and paddy - all of us went fer a yum n huge lunch at 20 feet high...ohh i got my first cake fer the day...tiramisu and a fruit punch...extremely yum was not the phrase fer it! :D habbie came...

As soon as i got home wid nish, farz and van after a heavy lunch..wham! happy bday to uuu....da gang waitin in the house wid a sexi chocolate cake....saphro of course did the honours of messin ma face...spl thnks to BD fer completely messin ma hair...dey alll gav me a bean bag..so i finally hav my own bean bag... yipeeiiiiii.... :D vanny gave me yellow mugs....one fer display and one fer use...so yayiiiii agn...smiley mugs btw....!

Evenin house party was fun.....boooze, music and fooling arnd....sumone, a prick did ruin it and i cant tell u how i wanted to whack dat person but well i cudnt do much...damnit!!!

Overall - a success.....happpy came the whole day....quite a few unexpected wishes and loads of expected wishes didnt cum in...its ok not dat i care too much but i definitely wudnt mind mentioning this...

And finally, CuCkUd has completed her teenage years nd moved to bein a kiddish adult...pffttt!

Oh but i totally wana thnk alll my frds who made diz one special fer me....! luv ya guys, mwah!!

Belated Habbie Bday to me :D

Delays But Heylo

Lot of things happenin around me and with me...i was meant to b blogging since a long time bout lot of things of wich i think i hav forgotten quite a few of them... :P well lets c...

The seniors farewell wich happend ysterday dats the 20th march, also the last official working day of colg was a blast....we created diz kewl party atmosphere, food was decent and we all went mad dancin on so many tracks...towards the end so many seniors got senti n how i pictured myself in a similar situation next year...argh!!

On 19th we had agn wid the seniors gone fer clubbin at 'The Beach'...so now i no one more club in blore..dat agn was a lot of fun...it was ladies night and we got free drinks... :D

I can't believe in like little more than 2 mnths i will b in my final year of graduation...damn n here i do not wana grow up dude....shit time surely is runnin.... :( newaz its towards the end of sem right n we hav all da big daddies coming....working for the radio show dese days...i feel so ignorant wen i see the amount my friends no....but i make myself happy wid the fact dat i m a tech-savvy person...nd dats my forte! nevertheless it's amazingly fun... den psychology practicals will b happenin right on my birthday! how kewl is dat...but the next practical xam after dat will b on the 5th april hopefully so atleast me n few more ppl can hav fun on my bday...yayiii....i m kinda sad...i will officially finish wid my teen years...damn...how i hate u time!

Well here's whts latest..i found a flat today...so starting april i will b livin by meself in a one bedroom flat on nandi durga extension road in jay mahal area...its a terrace flat...whieee....i think i m quite lucky wid this flat n pg business considerin how other ppl whom i hav seen lukin fer places hav struggled...i m a little apprehensive but well i believe in the whole until n unless u try it, how u gonna find out dude...so widout further thinkin cuckud isa outta chakravarthy house...Anddd 20th april dude i m goin back to my 1st paradise fer vaccation...whieee....diz will offcially b my last vaccation as far as havin a livin family in dubai coz den my folks r shiftin to bombay so i will bcum bombay chick den....haila!!! :P lol.....but newaz i can't wait to go back...!

I guess i m done fer now...if i remember more, i shall cum n enlighten u....

*Toilet cleaning time* Sheesh!!! :P

More Rantings

You no one of the important things to do wen u hav to create sumthin is to structure ur thought process well wich helps to score a brownie and also helps to make it much easier by the way..well here i m quite confused right now..i hav a not-so-interesting assignment to do wich is similar to wht i had done in my 2nd sem, only here it will b used for sumthin else...

I don't like hypocrites..i managed to find diz sort of a hypocrisy in one of my friends..

I think i saw a dead dog today...think bcoz i m not sure if it was dead yet...

I sumtimes feel i m not one the most typical media student..its sad and it sucks..sumtimes almost bad as bein a 'black-spot' on ne media student.. :( like diz ignorant fool i m wht to do..but agn i cannot possibly think of seeing myself in any other field. :P

The other day jan n me went to coffee world bcoz of my super craving fer those amazing waffles nd i discovered a new loue frm this place - Belgian Chocolate...*orgasmic* aaahhh...

I hate the ricks here and the new increased fares..radio guest lecture was kaka today..creativity didnt flow..i luvvv ice candies...i feel quite lost now..

Stop!

P. S. I Love You

I have always been the kind who wudnt waste too much money on watchin films in theatre..atleast in dubai...but den after i shifted here it continued till last week since wen i dun mind watchin every movie in theatre...not dat i m doin dat but after jodha akbar dat day, today i went fer P.S. I Love You wid saphy, sneha and jan...

After a great jodha akbar, evn diz movie was like amazin....i mean i no i suck wen it cums to critiquing sumthin but nevertheless, dis movie jus felt really gud to watch..der r soo many places wer u go awww and how sweet n how thotfull and all dat jazz...der was jus one scene wer 1 and a half tears (left eye jus got wet and tear did not completely roll down like the right eye) came...

Nachos in pvr taste much better dan in fun cinemas...oh we jus made it in time u no...traffic and its pollution sucked today...but agn if u hav experienced so much of dubai traffic, it feels nuthing...but pollution!!! *cough..cough...cough....!!*

P.S. - Gerard Butler is HOT! *drools*