Power Of My Dreams

She steals, she shoots and she scores.
the applause and the cheer forming her background.

She can see the fear in your eye,
for you know she is better in every aspect.

She can feel the envy surround her,
for shes always the hero who saves the day.

She hasn't tasted what defeat feels like,
too used to the victory licking thy feet.

Record after record in each match she plays,
the tang of 'trounce' by her own assertive self.

The tan...g of... 'tr...oun..ce.....

And its yet another day which leered,
at her unremitting passion for the game.

The only desire that would get painstaking efforts,
where her ego howls the loudest.

Yet it lacks what she needs to give,
one faithful approach to the most bright vision.

An awakening call is already sent,
The path is paved with hopeful resolve.

However, the solitary dread of failure boogies,
which can rip the 'power of my dreams,'

Then will be born a new manifestation,
but even she is unknown to that situation.

Just A Thought

Yep i m pretty and tired after washin almost a bucket of clothes and meself...but den i was goin through sum of the blog links of my friends n sheesh! i get agitated with the fact dat der is soo much talent all around me...in dat case me as ne other hundreds of those random human beings who may rate a little above average and may fall in the category of jack of all trades, i jus wish i had diz one thing dat i m really gud at...yeah i no ppl keep tellin me bball is ma thing but i dun seem to b gettin newer wid it...

Sumtimes it jus triggers and i think of those so many seconds of my precious life dat i hav wasted doin things so random and futile....ohh nd whine n complain bout life itself...for example now dat i m ritin also feels more of a time waste complainin bout wastin time in life...!*typical cuckud dialogue...i know*

Its jus dat i wish i wud realize this one thing dat i can ace and can keep doin fer a long time widout gettin bored...

My ignorance seems to b knockin in my head asking me to wake up...! Shit but i m soo lost and deeply stuck in my fantasy world dat it jus seems too hard....!

Damn....ok Merry Christmas....!

Secret Santa Rocks

HO HO HO!!!!! Merry X'mas felllazz....yaha dats wht been goin on mostly in my life dese days....i have never seen more gifts xchange before diz in my life....so let me rite in order of whtever things i had made a note of to blog about....

I had mentioned bout the secret santa game in class n i was right bout who was my secret santa...not dat i bugged dat frd bout bein my secret santa and den yst we had da gifts exchage n all da secret santas were revealed before we started diz xmas break...

Da other day i think it was a tuesday wen i learnt the seven north-east states of India...lemme see dey are; Assam, Meghalaya, Manipur, Tripura, Nagaland, Mizoram and Arunachal... :) i m so proud of myself..

Like i mentioned before we had da gifts xchange yst and i think i got da kewlest secret santa coz i got like the best gift i cud ask fer (Thank You! :D) ....a Basketball Pillow.... :D da best part is i had seen diz before i went fer vaccations to Dubai but i cudnt buy it fer meself at dat time n now i got it fer X'mas....how kewl is dat....!

Now we r gonna hav another massive gifts xchange on 25th and all of sum 50ish gifts r finally gonna b opened....whieeeee.....i hav never had sucha lovely X'mas before...actually i think i never celebrated X'mas like diz before......dis is sooo kewl... :D whieeeee...!!!

On other note, i wish i cud go to Dubai fer New Years and yst my sister's silly joke almost seemed like my wish can cum true but i think i shudnt b so greedy... :P

Hey even my nails are soo long n luk pretty i think fer a chnge....

CuCkUd . . . ! is lovin every bit of everythin.... YaYiii !!! Oh and Merry Christmas to everyone..!

P.S - I dedicate the post to ma secret santa..... :)

The Race Movie

One of my frds dipti, my x classmate sent me da link....i think its a nice message n worth a post....

http://www.the-race-movie.com/

Mebbe u shud check it out...
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On other note today we had votin fer da union in our colg...damn it was so kewl to see electronic votin system...hehhe like really....like we were votin fer sum politician...n apparently accordin to a classmate dis was da first colg to hav automatic voting system....yaha i m proud....n den by 2:30 they announced the results and yayiiiii my classmate marianne won the elections for the post of president....actually all except one chik whom i voted fer won the elections for whtever post dey were contestin fer....yea i had asked ppl whom to vote fer since i hardly no da gurls except marianne but it was fun.... :)

Also i finally got a note from my secret santa n its lotsa fun to guess who it cud b...hehehe..

Oh lastly, after my boycut today fer da 1st time after so long i tied my hair into a chotu actually very chotu ponytail.....lol...

Tats it...toodles....

Change Of Perspective

Heya ppl....i cant believe at how my mind works...damn....jus prolly a couple of days after i rote dat post in my notebook in class, i went thru dis i duno wht dat now i m findin blore, colg n life much easier to handle...like much easier...how kewl is dat....!

Few things goin on right now...

Chakravarthy house is so cutely decorated fer x'mas and we hav a pretty lil 3 feet tree wich luks very cute...ders gonna b dis kewl gifts xchange fer x'mas...http://s38.photobucket.com/albums/e149/misscool_88/?action=view&current=ChakravarthyXmas.flv

We also playin secret santa in colg wich i hav always liked frm da time i found out bout it... :D
oh i m really startin to like my colg dese days....pay lotsa attn in class n dun crib bout nethin...

Dis week der was dis campaignin goin on by gurls standin fer diff posts in the union of the colg n its so nice to see da efforts dey put in campaignin...i remember mahe wen i stood fer sports rep..i remember how da elections were held widout ne enthusiasm...

http://s38.photobucket.com/albums/e149/misscool_88/?action=view&current=MarianneCampaign.flv

Generally i dun crib at all i feel....trivial things here n there but dey last fer wht 2 mins n dey r very normal...n now dat da internet is fixed in the house it feels even better...i duno its jus dat nothin bothers me too much now...i make an effort to talk to classmates, be happie all da time, focus on solutions dan problems....i dun worry too much bout my money n expenses also...

I found an 'x' national level bbal player in ma clas..dats like wow...dat sorta triggered dis inspiration dat i need to wake up if i ever need to reach atleast dat level....but damn i duno...but i m happie to find a dat level ka player :D whieeeeee.....

Today one of da housemate gav an xample of me to another chik who didnt score dat well in xamz with regards to da kind of self-confidence i hav....another habbie came....

So now wen i luk at ma last post feels very irrelevant n i still put it up only cos i had ritten it for bloggin...so i hadda put it up...newas i gues dis shud b enuf.....

Goodnight!

(P.S - jus copy n paste the links to check out the videos...but i still duno if day way works..)

Back In Bangalore

I dont think the problem is with me..i dun recall a single blah day in dubai while i was on vaccation..then how cum i reach here n i m jus more paranoid, more tensed and think more..yea i no much before i shifted i used to be blah in dubai like quite a bit but then i think the seriousness of ma blahness is more serious over here!

This rite up feels like another one of ma usual whine posts but then i think i cant help but just whine over here..but wait last nite was a lot of fun at home...all of us chakravarthy house ppl were goin insane laughin bout the most random thngs...most of the time it was my 'not-so-funny' pjs wich drove us insane laughin...

I think it maybe the colg thats gettin to me - chnge of campus n rules, chnge of class (not dat dis class is bad but nudin like old classmates), chnge of professors (these ppl here teach very well but the kewl personal rapport with profs here aint happenin too gud here), my standard of livin..

I mean after bunkin yst n cumin to colg today i noticed more like recalled the awesum welcome in mahe..yea i no it was a surprise but still...here not many seemed to b bothered..i no frm my part i dun make dat much of an effort either but really...

Ok on a more calmer and wiser notice, everythin happens fer a reason (yawn)..so i jus keep maself habbie and count the approx 1 year n another 5-6 mnths to go...

P.S - Nope i wont whine...!! Tadaa...

(wrote dis the first day of attendin colg fer dis sem...dats 4th dec, 2007 and dis is also ma first post from da new internet at home...wireless mind u...:P :D lolz)

I Know

I can drive....I KNOW

I manage to get ma dad's car always...I KNOW

All ma frds here are bloody bisi...I KNOW

I hav to go to blore on sunday...I KNOW

So what...!!!! FUCK YOU....!!!!!

Next Sunday

Hmmm i just wana keep bloggin cos i cant do it very often once i go back to ma paradise... :P Da usual was thinkin wile walkin to get ma medical report (i got injection :P) n back n remembered dat next sunday at dis time i will be in air arabia goin back...arghh :( dats so pissin off.....cuckud no like...

Oh bt yst was lotta fun...it was red clan's day out cos today was aak's bday...so wish her habbie bday....

Last week's gud samaritan - da dude who gave me parkin in da lot opp ma house...da gud thing he did, made a small kid who was wid him to go tell da other car dude who was tryin to steal ma parkin to back off... :D

I cant believe da amount of times i hav noodles in a week....argh...oh one more thing....dubai is kewl cos ppl jus tend to b nice to me here...i mean ma usual meanies also....lol..i like...

Kai i think i m done blabberin fer now....tadaa...

Torture Session

Sometime bck i was doin ma under arms n i use an epilator....fuck it hurts man...i mean arms n legs always seem ok like feel nudin at all but bloody underarms....*OUCH* i wish dey cud make such an epilator wich wudnt hurt so much....or rather dey can develop dis kinda anesthetic wich wont make it hurt...unless ur a very self-inflicting person den it wud b kai i suppose...ok ppl may think i hav lost it talkin bout how it hurts wen u epilate underarms....heylo not ma fault...dats all i can possibly do wile gettin bored at home man....

ok let me make da post a lil more worthwile...after i was done beautifyin maself...i made dese home nachos wich tasted soo gud....here is how u can make urs....very simple....
1. buy a pack of amigo tortilla chips.
2. Spread chips in a glass plate dependin how many fit.
3. Spread pasta sauce on da chips wid a knife.
4. Place a few (cut from previous) pieces of finely chopped capsicum n tomato.
5. Put grated Kraft Cheddar cheese on da chips.
6. Place da plate in a microwave oven
7. Heat da chips fer 20 - 25 secs.
8. Remove the plate n attack.

Tips: You can make it spicy by adding finely chopped green chillies.
You can use spread cheese also instead of da cheddar cheese.

Great now dat i hav mentioned sumthin more worthwile n ended up practicin how to rite instructions learnt in ma 3rd sem in communicative english, i shall end da post here..
Toodles...

No Particular Reason

Elo der...after da massive bloggin of 8 posts wht more can i possibly blog abt n dat also soo soon...welll i duno....i jus had dis urge of puttin up sumthin cos i m feelin habbiee..no not dat i hav stopped whinin...hey it has defintely reduced ok...its jus dat i feel so sorted in ma head...fer a chnge!! yes i no!!!

Its like i usually cum to ma bloggie wen i hav to puke sum sort of emotions outta ma system n dey r usually blah stuff so fer a chnge i m jus habbie....

Da return to dubai..(i no most ppl consider it a shitty place), family, home food, drivin, beach, shisha, CHEESE LITE :D , mahe, old classmates, ma bitches...damn so many things to luk fwrd to....one more da feelin of eperiencin da replay of old times is jus awesum....*sniff sniff*

*takes a pizza break...chomp chomp...slurpp...* :P

Aah dat felt gud....bloody pizza also in blore is so desi, tastes horibble...its almost like a cliche man...wen i was leavin i blogged abt all da things i m gonna miss n now dat i m back i m rejoicin abt da same thins....so wht shut up man..i m habbie..so let me b....

Its kinda kewl how i can do dis...say i m bloggin fer no particular reason n mention so many n rite suchaa long post....teehee...*pats proudly*

Kai i think i rote enuf fer now....*movie time*...toodles... :)

P.S - i dedicate dis post.... :)

Octoer 29th 2007

I have always hated being dependant for anything and on anyone. However, even though i trymy best i do find myself bein so bloody dependant on quite a few people...For a normal person i think it would be okay to find such unintended dependancy but den in my case my ego always gets the better of me....For eg, when i m high...thats one time when i always cling to few of the people i drink wid even though i say i wont when i m sobre..Being ma close frds i always think it wouldnt matter... they may say that they dont wana take care of me always like this but then recently it makes me very paranoid....Here i think is it true with each of them? nd in case it isnt is because its not always that they have to take care of me like diz!

Another thing i realised here is the value of money. Till u hav it u can do wht u want n be how u want. Once u start facing a tite budget den u no...u hav to compromise so many things. Affording a small cadbury worth jus 5 rs. can make me think twice before i buy it.

It scares me sumtime about how moody i can be..i myself sumtimes cant figure out wht random thing when will cause a tick in ma head to think of all da possible nonsense i can think of..this makes me think whether there are ne other people like this or is it just me..at times i wonder with the amount of things i jus keep worryin bout or rather get worked up bout may drive me crazie one day...I sumtimes imagine how wud it be to be a psycho...not dat i want to turn into one but fer a moment i want to feel that feeling of bein a psycho...

One last thing...one major bad on that day which was completely unintended and was bigger than ne of ma bads so far seems to be rubbing in on ma face constantly...one fear tht was associated wid it got sorted out and the outcome was positive (thank god) and then a peptalk which i do only once in a while with myself to lift ma spirits agn...things seem so much better after that but den i still feel dat in sum demented way it jus rubs in right on ma face...and dat too not always by me...perhaps unintentionally by ma frds..i m sure they mean my good but den how long can a person take that bitch of rubbing in...so its jus sad...

Oops one more thot triggered...y do i think the amount i think...i mean i no i hav asked diz qs before like several times but then i never really found an answer fer it...i no i m not only the kind like diz but it jus makes me wonder....
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(kai one of ma posts i had ritten at home n thot i wud publish it later n as usual i didnt find time in blore so after i end dis...i hav proudly updated ma blog wid whtever i rote n didnt put up yet...lot of crap i no...bt it feels gud cos ma blog never got dis lucky to hav so many updates at one go...newas...toodles fer a wile...little wile...)

My Distant Land

Travel away to a distant land,
softly, quietly, keeping an unknown brand.

For here there is a lot of chaos,
you have to be under a big boss.

For here there are a lot of facades,
hidden and waiting various forms of hazards.

For here you will not find yourself,
massive crowds and you are one elf.

For here you just cannot breathe,
squished and strangled despite your deed.

Travel away to a distant land,
softly, quietly, keeping an unknown brand.

Breathe in the calm and feel the solitude.

Then there is just a smile and a trance.

(Written on OctoBer 29 2007, i think)

Your Ma Hypocrite

Like a bitch you pierce,

Bloody Hypocrite!!!

You only take my pain away,
watching each drop of red,
go drip drip down.

One mind says save it to save me.
One mind says smile at your own doom.

(Written August 31 2007, i think)

Bitch Of My Life

Secondary is what i am,
I feel,
Or maybe i am a bad guesser.

I am told what i mean to people,
Quite a few times,
But maybe i am too paranoid.

Wait is it just same bad luck,
Keeps lurking,
Or maybe i might be correct.

Unlike before there seems to be no one there,
Just a feeling,
Or maybe there is just a silhouette left.

Victimization is another bitch of mine,
Too many bitches around me eh?
Or maybe bad luck again!

A lot is going on about right now,
One after the other,
Something i want and loathe together.

After so long, the head triggered,
For a few minutes,
A few lines of venting away.

At this very moment, I demand!
Ma music, not trivial crap!
Ma basketball, not hurt ego!
A reassurance, not fickle hopes!
A lot of solitude..With a CLEAR MIND!

Or maybe i do need more that a silhouette,
Just about right now,
But the solitude has a superior hand..!

(Written September 10 2007, i think)

Bit By Bit

Slowly crawling in a rapid race,
what will happen of you?

Need a little more on the pace,
If you need to a little of that ace.

Clip Clip tears a part of each limb,
with each met failure.

And yet you trotter on and on,
with what is left of you.

A faint hope that someday,
you will be known.
you will be there.
right at the top.

Right now needs calm,
right now needs false hope,
false because so far hope gives,
Nothing but Disappointment..

(Written August 31 2007)

Hopes Cause A Tick

A little more than efforts,
washed down in the drain.

A little less than assistance,
flew to touch the sky.

The intensity of hurt being small,
but its the every small that makes it big!

The more she tries,
the more she loses,
so much in a demented manner,
makes her laugh at her own losing self.

Though behind that laugh is the hidden tear,
but she has learnt to smile as she walks..in the mass...
Learnt to 'Smile' As She Walks In The Mass!!

(Written August 31 2007)

Its A Storm Always

A weird feel,
an undoubtful heal..
tears not meant to fall,
why would i hear wen there's no call...?

Call not heard,
makes things absurd.
bullshit makes me smile,
i have come a mile.
meet the loner soul,
sinkin deep in the hole.

The harder i tend to try,
the more it makes me cry.
whenever i end up being nice,
more i uncover people like ice.
you would think they are there-solid,
shams worthy of absolutely no bid.

Journey meant to a distant land,
boulevard paved with troubles grand.
not that it is an impossible take,
though shingles on the way cause a wait.
and sometime slithers a demotivating vigor,
that aids fiasco in the head to trigger.

At times life feels like a fantasy,
at times its nothing less than venom,
however, how should i take it and move?

Well that i am yet to reckon!

(Written i think Jan 9 2007)

Old Stuff - New Post

I had ritten quite a few times in blore...bt since i usually didnt hav much time on da net over der...i thot i cud post dese now....hmm....dubai has been gud and after dat day's colg surprise i went to da beach wid mel, aak, saph, ashray and adi...nice ppl da new names....had gud fun n den spent da nite at aak's...mum's almost 70% better....*phew* ok here goes.... wid da old stuff....

Dis 1st one is a poem i had ritten wen i was frustrated cos i liked dis guy n cudnt get over him for soo longgg...even after he started datin dis chick....da poem's fer da chick - a very gud frd of mine....sorry hun i rote dis once upon a time n never blogged since its bitchy....bt i m sure u wud understand if u read dis now...one of ma million immature thingys....peace....!

Hatred Beyod Words

I was the one who introduced you to him,
it was through me that you met him,
and yet you advanced to the brim.

Without a word...
Without a warning...

You just took him away from me...

The whole world told me about it,
how i wish from u i heard the whole bit,
yes you finally told it to me,
but it was too late, let it be...

You just took him away from me...

Now i see them holding hands,
now i feel the love between them,
now she knows him better than i do...

Does she know how is that feel?
something that takes so long to heal...

Like a hundred balloons bursting together,
like a hundred fire crackers lighting the sky,
like a hundred knives stabbing an already painful wound...

Why...no really why would she do that to me???

I even told her.."i still like him..."

Stop...

I don't want to hate her...she has been a friend...

And yet you just took him away from me...

I can't explain the hatred for my bad luck...
i can't explain the feel it gives...
i can't explain myself to get over him...

Do i call it insanity, do i call it a sin?

But its just that.....

I am still crazy about him...

(written on June 17 2006 or July 23 2007, duno wich ones correkt :$)

Successful Surprises :D

Well well well guess whos bck....yaha...da cuckud....teehee...man feels so gud to b bck after 4 freggin months....well abt blore besides dat i m gettin an education of better value, everythin else sucks....da colg, toilets, pollution...blah blah....nudin can beat ma frds at mahe man....seriously...

Hmmm so since yst dat i hav cum bck....i wid saph 1st surprised aak ygoin to her house b4 she gets bck n we both hid in her cupboard....nah da cupboard is still strong n intact....:p so our dearest chikni cudnt believe dat we were back n her luk..hahha worth seein....it was so kewl...

Today me n saph went to colg....to surprise da rest....after seein n talkin to da profs. who most of dem btw are all pretty much da same felt really gud to see us back....den da grand entry in clas...1st to shubha mam wid a hug wile da class starts cheerin n howlin :D n den hugs to da whole class....omgggg it was like one of da best feelin ever.....our dearest mellu cried....hahaha.....so cute...bt too bad i missed it! bt newas i spent da rest f da day till bout 12 30 p.m. meetin, huggin, surprisin and tellin ppl bout me n blore....

Den da red clan went to one of deir domains - House of Shisha....omg no wht shisha feels like after 4 long mnths....aaah heaven....talks n fotos....n den we went back to academic city to drop off mel....den 3 of us left....saph went home n i went to ma other house...(aak's house :p) as usual....laughed so hard after ages man over sumthin so random....kewlnes bcame....n den cuckud came home....

Great start of vaccations wid 2 great days totally filled wid omggg so much....yayiiiiii....cant wait to go crasieee wile i m here.....luv alll u ppl yaar..!! Muahahaha.....

:D

Just An Alarm

I always come to ma blog fer help wen i feel weird....nd diz way its like an alarm fer it to wake up...since i dun blog much i m sure it mus hav fallen into coma or sumthin...ok yea i m talkin crap....

Helllooo to all da ppl out der.....How do u do?

I duno wht xactly to rite....just a date...22nd october 2007.....

And...

Dat i hav a point to prove...so i shall jus wish all d best to maself fer ma xamz wich start tomm...i shall study hard n prosper.....correct...!

End...