At Least She Still Attempts

I re-checked the dates and noticed that it has been more than a year since I posted something. I was definitely excited about posting the last one because I finally broke the elapsed time period of 'no-posts.'

Well, I am at a standstill. There are so many careers to choose from, so many companies to get employed at, so much money to make and yet I am a tiny little dot on a page full of doodle done by some mystery force!

It is high time (at least I think so) that I pick a career, work towards it, and be something more in it, in about 3 years down the line. However, I can't! Most days it feels like it will come to me and Thwack! I will know what I want to do for the rest of my life. Except, all those options just appear like a whirlpool. Also, taking the first step, having a platform to take the first step, feeling a 100% about being good at it, and being able to prove that to the rest, is mind you, a task! At least in this part of the world. Sometimes, I think what if it thwacks me when I am like some 36 years old and realize that all these years I was wasting my time!!?? Yeah yeah, don't give me the "you are never too old to start" jazz.

Yet again, sometimes, it feels like there is no such thing as "Thwack" in life. Maybe it's just about picking opportunities that come in your way and moving your way up. Cutting down the talks and analysis. But then what is the whole drama about Passion in life? Sigh!

So, how good is it being a Jack of all, again?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

She wishes to speak,
but the mind is being a freak.

One second it screams happy,
The next it whispers crappy.

How does she heal?
If she can't fathom the feel.

Digging is causing her pain,
Attempts to solve feel in vain.

So what does she do?
She waits with a long breath,
Letting those thoughts form queue.

She shuts the mental door,
It's OK. Life is sometimes a whore!

I randomly wrote that for a friend but now I think it kind of applies to me also, if of course, we change the context of the poem!