I have always hated being dependant for anything and on anyone. However, even though i trymy best i do find myself bein so bloody dependant on quite a few people...For a normal person i think it would be okay to find such unintended dependancy but den in my case my ego always gets the better of me....For eg, when i m high...thats one time when i always cling to few of the people i drink wid even though i say i wont when i m sobre..Being ma close frds i always think it wouldnt matter... they may say that they dont wana take care of me always like this but then recently it makes me very paranoid....Here i think is it true with each of them? nd in case it isnt is because its not always that they have to take care of me like diz!
Another thing i realised here is the value of money. Till u hav it u can do wht u want n be how u want. Once u start facing a tite budget den u no...u hav to compromise so many things. Affording a small cadbury worth jus 5 rs. can make me think twice before i buy it.
It scares me sumtime about how moody i can be..i myself sumtimes cant figure out wht random thing when will cause a tick in ma head to think of all da possible nonsense i can think of..this makes me think whether there are ne other people like this or is it just me..at times i wonder with the amount of things i jus keep worryin bout or rather get worked up bout may drive me crazie one day...I sumtimes imagine how wud it be to be a psycho...not dat i want to turn into one but fer a moment i want to feel that feeling of bein a psycho...
One last thing...one major bad on that day which was completely unintended and was bigger than ne of ma bads so far seems to be rubbing in on ma face constantly...one fear tht was associated wid it got sorted out and the outcome was positive (thank god) and then a peptalk which i do only once in a while with myself to lift ma spirits agn...things seem so much better after that but den i still feel dat in sum demented way it jus rubs in right on ma face...and dat too not always by me...perhaps unintentionally by ma frds..i m sure they mean my good but den how long can a person take that bitch of rubbing in...so its jus sad...
Oops one more thot triggered...y do i think the amount i think...i mean i no i hav asked diz qs before like several times but then i never really found an answer fer it...i no i m not only the kind like diz but it jus makes me wonder....
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(kai one of ma posts i had ritten at home n thot i wud publish it later n as usual i didnt find time in blore so after i end dis...i hav proudly updated ma blog wid whtever i rote n didnt put up yet...lot of crap i no...bt it feels gud cos ma blog never got dis lucky to hav so many updates at one go...newas...toodles fer a wile...little wile...)
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5 comments:
Found you!
Well written. Although I see November has been quite the month for you. You normally hit 2 - 3 post, however you hit a blog-record setting 9 this month.
Cheers!
M
nah da record is hit cos in blore i dun hav sufficient internet access...so all ma random stuff i had ritten over der n not posted, i did...felt so gud...oh btw i put up 8 posts....
Yesh I shaw..
Anywhoo I linkedededed your blog to mine :D
M
i love you!
and awesome stuff...blore really gets your pen rollin eh?!
sowie i couldnt comment on each one..theyre all AWESOME!
:)
thnk u sheikhaa...teehee...though dey r all so depressinn...i m off dat phase long back...cuckud isa habbie chotu gurl now....not care a damn kinds...hehehe...kewl no...
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