Power Of My Dreams

She steals, she shoots and she scores.
the applause and the cheer forming her background.

She can see the fear in your eye,
for you know she is better in every aspect.

She can feel the envy surround her,
for shes always the hero who saves the day.

She hasn't tasted what defeat feels like,
too used to the victory licking thy feet.

Record after record in each match she plays,
the tang of 'trounce' by her own assertive self.

The tan...g of... 'tr...oun..ce.....

And its yet another day which leered,
at her unremitting passion for the game.

The only desire that would get painstaking efforts,
where her ego howls the loudest.

Yet it lacks what she needs to give,
one faithful approach to the most bright vision.

An awakening call is already sent,
The path is paved with hopeful resolve.

However, the solitary dread of failure boogies,
which can rip the 'power of my dreams,'

Then will be born a new manifestation,
but even she is unknown to that situation.

Just A Thought

Yep i m pretty and tired after washin almost a bucket of clothes and meself...but den i was goin through sum of the blog links of my friends n sheesh! i get agitated with the fact dat der is soo much talent all around me...in dat case me as ne other hundreds of those random human beings who may rate a little above average and may fall in the category of jack of all trades, i jus wish i had diz one thing dat i m really gud at...yeah i no ppl keep tellin me bball is ma thing but i dun seem to b gettin newer wid it...

Sumtimes it jus triggers and i think of those so many seconds of my precious life dat i hav wasted doin things so random and futile....ohh nd whine n complain bout life itself...for example now dat i m ritin also feels more of a time waste complainin bout wastin time in life...!*typical cuckud dialogue...i know*

Its jus dat i wish i wud realize this one thing dat i can ace and can keep doin fer a long time widout gettin bored...

My ignorance seems to b knockin in my head asking me to wake up...! Shit but i m soo lost and deeply stuck in my fantasy world dat it jus seems too hard....!

Damn....ok Merry Christmas....!

Secret Santa Rocks

HO HO HO!!!!! Merry X'mas felllazz....yaha dats wht been goin on mostly in my life dese days....i have never seen more gifts xchange before diz in my life....so let me rite in order of whtever things i had made a note of to blog about....

I had mentioned bout the secret santa game in class n i was right bout who was my secret santa...not dat i bugged dat frd bout bein my secret santa and den yst we had da gifts exchage n all da secret santas were revealed before we started diz xmas break...

Da other day i think it was a tuesday wen i learnt the seven north-east states of India...lemme see dey are; Assam, Meghalaya, Manipur, Tripura, Nagaland, Mizoram and Arunachal... :) i m so proud of myself..

Like i mentioned before we had da gifts xchange yst and i think i got da kewlest secret santa coz i got like the best gift i cud ask fer (Thank You! :D) ....a Basketball Pillow.... :D da best part is i had seen diz before i went fer vaccations to Dubai but i cudnt buy it fer meself at dat time n now i got it fer X'mas....how kewl is dat....!

Now we r gonna hav another massive gifts xchange on 25th and all of sum 50ish gifts r finally gonna b opened....whieeeee.....i hav never had sucha lovely X'mas before...actually i think i never celebrated X'mas like diz before......dis is sooo kewl... :D whieeeee...!!!

On other note, i wish i cud go to Dubai fer New Years and yst my sister's silly joke almost seemed like my wish can cum true but i think i shudnt b so greedy... :P

Hey even my nails are soo long n luk pretty i think fer a chnge....

CuCkUd . . . ! is lovin every bit of everythin.... YaYiii !!! Oh and Merry Christmas to everyone..!

P.S - I dedicate the post to ma secret santa..... :)

The Race Movie

One of my frds dipti, my x classmate sent me da link....i think its a nice message n worth a post....

http://www.the-race-movie.com/

Mebbe u shud check it out...
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On other note today we had votin fer da union in our colg...damn it was so kewl to see electronic votin system...hehhe like really....like we were votin fer sum politician...n apparently accordin to a classmate dis was da first colg to hav automatic voting system....yaha i m proud....n den by 2:30 they announced the results and yayiiiii my classmate marianne won the elections for the post of president....actually all except one chik whom i voted fer won the elections for whtever post dey were contestin fer....yea i had asked ppl whom to vote fer since i hardly no da gurls except marianne but it was fun.... :)

Also i finally got a note from my secret santa n its lotsa fun to guess who it cud b...hehehe..

Oh lastly, after my boycut today fer da 1st time after so long i tied my hair into a chotu actually very chotu ponytail.....lol...

Tats it...toodles....

Change Of Perspective

Heya ppl....i cant believe at how my mind works...damn....jus prolly a couple of days after i rote dat post in my notebook in class, i went thru dis i duno wht dat now i m findin blore, colg n life much easier to handle...like much easier...how kewl is dat....!

Few things goin on right now...

Chakravarthy house is so cutely decorated fer x'mas and we hav a pretty lil 3 feet tree wich luks very cute...ders gonna b dis kewl gifts xchange fer x'mas...http://s38.photobucket.com/albums/e149/misscool_88/?action=view&current=ChakravarthyXmas.flv

We also playin secret santa in colg wich i hav always liked frm da time i found out bout it... :D
oh i m really startin to like my colg dese days....pay lotsa attn in class n dun crib bout nethin...

Dis week der was dis campaignin goin on by gurls standin fer diff posts in the union of the colg n its so nice to see da efforts dey put in campaignin...i remember mahe wen i stood fer sports rep..i remember how da elections were held widout ne enthusiasm...

http://s38.photobucket.com/albums/e149/misscool_88/?action=view&current=MarianneCampaign.flv

Generally i dun crib at all i feel....trivial things here n there but dey last fer wht 2 mins n dey r very normal...n now dat da internet is fixed in the house it feels even better...i duno its jus dat nothin bothers me too much now...i make an effort to talk to classmates, be happie all da time, focus on solutions dan problems....i dun worry too much bout my money n expenses also...

I found an 'x' national level bbal player in ma clas..dats like wow...dat sorta triggered dis inspiration dat i need to wake up if i ever need to reach atleast dat level....but damn i duno...but i m happie to find a dat level ka player :D whieeeeee.....

Today one of da housemate gav an xample of me to another chik who didnt score dat well in xamz with regards to da kind of self-confidence i hav....another habbie came....

So now wen i luk at ma last post feels very irrelevant n i still put it up only cos i had ritten it for bloggin...so i hadda put it up...newas i gues dis shud b enuf.....

Goodnight!

(P.S - jus copy n paste the links to check out the videos...but i still duno if day way works..)

Back In Bangalore

I dont think the problem is with me..i dun recall a single blah day in dubai while i was on vaccation..then how cum i reach here n i m jus more paranoid, more tensed and think more..yea i no much before i shifted i used to be blah in dubai like quite a bit but then i think the seriousness of ma blahness is more serious over here!

This rite up feels like another one of ma usual whine posts but then i think i cant help but just whine over here..but wait last nite was a lot of fun at home...all of us chakravarthy house ppl were goin insane laughin bout the most random thngs...most of the time it was my 'not-so-funny' pjs wich drove us insane laughin...

I think it maybe the colg thats gettin to me - chnge of campus n rules, chnge of class (not dat dis class is bad but nudin like old classmates), chnge of professors (these ppl here teach very well but the kewl personal rapport with profs here aint happenin too gud here), my standard of livin..

I mean after bunkin yst n cumin to colg today i noticed more like recalled the awesum welcome in mahe..yea i no it was a surprise but still...here not many seemed to b bothered..i no frm my part i dun make dat much of an effort either but really...

Ok on a more calmer and wiser notice, everythin happens fer a reason (yawn)..so i jus keep maself habbie and count the approx 1 year n another 5-6 mnths to go...

P.S - Nope i wont whine...!! Tadaa...

(wrote dis the first day of attendin colg fer dis sem...dats 4th dec, 2007 and dis is also ma first post from da new internet at home...wireless mind u...:P :D lolz)

I Know

I can drive....I KNOW

I manage to get ma dad's car always...I KNOW

All ma frds here are bloody bisi...I KNOW

I hav to go to blore on sunday...I KNOW

So what...!!!! FUCK YOU....!!!!!

Next Sunday

Hmmm i just wana keep bloggin cos i cant do it very often once i go back to ma paradise... :P Da usual was thinkin wile walkin to get ma medical report (i got injection :P) n back n remembered dat next sunday at dis time i will be in air arabia goin back...arghh :( dats so pissin off.....cuckud no like...

Oh bt yst was lotta fun...it was red clan's day out cos today was aak's bday...so wish her habbie bday....

Last week's gud samaritan - da dude who gave me parkin in da lot opp ma house...da gud thing he did, made a small kid who was wid him to go tell da other car dude who was tryin to steal ma parkin to back off... :D

I cant believe da amount of times i hav noodles in a week....argh...oh one more thing....dubai is kewl cos ppl jus tend to b nice to me here...i mean ma usual meanies also....lol..i like...

Kai i think i m done blabberin fer now....tadaa...

Torture Session

Sometime bck i was doin ma under arms n i use an epilator....fuck it hurts man...i mean arms n legs always seem ok like feel nudin at all but bloody underarms....*OUCH* i wish dey cud make such an epilator wich wudnt hurt so much....or rather dey can develop dis kinda anesthetic wich wont make it hurt...unless ur a very self-inflicting person den it wud b kai i suppose...ok ppl may think i hav lost it talkin bout how it hurts wen u epilate underarms....heylo not ma fault...dats all i can possibly do wile gettin bored at home man....

ok let me make da post a lil more worthwile...after i was done beautifyin maself...i made dese home nachos wich tasted soo gud....here is how u can make urs....very simple....
1. buy a pack of amigo tortilla chips.
2. Spread chips in a glass plate dependin how many fit.
3. Spread pasta sauce on da chips wid a knife.
4. Place a few (cut from previous) pieces of finely chopped capsicum n tomato.
5. Put grated Kraft Cheddar cheese on da chips.
6. Place da plate in a microwave oven
7. Heat da chips fer 20 - 25 secs.
8. Remove the plate n attack.

Tips: You can make it spicy by adding finely chopped green chillies.
You can use spread cheese also instead of da cheddar cheese.

Great now dat i hav mentioned sumthin more worthwile n ended up practicin how to rite instructions learnt in ma 3rd sem in communicative english, i shall end da post here..
Toodles...

No Particular Reason

Elo der...after da massive bloggin of 8 posts wht more can i possibly blog abt n dat also soo soon...welll i duno....i jus had dis urge of puttin up sumthin cos i m feelin habbiee..no not dat i hav stopped whinin...hey it has defintely reduced ok...its jus dat i feel so sorted in ma head...fer a chnge!! yes i no!!!

Its like i usually cum to ma bloggie wen i hav to puke sum sort of emotions outta ma system n dey r usually blah stuff so fer a chnge i m jus habbie....

Da return to dubai..(i no most ppl consider it a shitty place), family, home food, drivin, beach, shisha, CHEESE LITE :D , mahe, old classmates, ma bitches...damn so many things to luk fwrd to....one more da feelin of eperiencin da replay of old times is jus awesum....*sniff sniff*

*takes a pizza break...chomp chomp...slurpp...* :P

Aah dat felt gud....bloody pizza also in blore is so desi, tastes horibble...its almost like a cliche man...wen i was leavin i blogged abt all da things i m gonna miss n now dat i m back i m rejoicin abt da same thins....so wht shut up man..i m habbie..so let me b....

Its kinda kewl how i can do dis...say i m bloggin fer no particular reason n mention so many n rite suchaa long post....teehee...*pats proudly*

Kai i think i rote enuf fer now....*movie time*...toodles... :)

P.S - i dedicate dis post.... :)

Octoer 29th 2007

I have always hated being dependant for anything and on anyone. However, even though i trymy best i do find myself bein so bloody dependant on quite a few people...For a normal person i think it would be okay to find such unintended dependancy but den in my case my ego always gets the better of me....For eg, when i m high...thats one time when i always cling to few of the people i drink wid even though i say i wont when i m sobre..Being ma close frds i always think it wouldnt matter... they may say that they dont wana take care of me always like this but then recently it makes me very paranoid....Here i think is it true with each of them? nd in case it isnt is because its not always that they have to take care of me like diz!

Another thing i realised here is the value of money. Till u hav it u can do wht u want n be how u want. Once u start facing a tite budget den u no...u hav to compromise so many things. Affording a small cadbury worth jus 5 rs. can make me think twice before i buy it.

It scares me sumtime about how moody i can be..i myself sumtimes cant figure out wht random thing when will cause a tick in ma head to think of all da possible nonsense i can think of..this makes me think whether there are ne other people like this or is it just me..at times i wonder with the amount of things i jus keep worryin bout or rather get worked up bout may drive me crazie one day...I sumtimes imagine how wud it be to be a psycho...not dat i want to turn into one but fer a moment i want to feel that feeling of bein a psycho...

One last thing...one major bad on that day which was completely unintended and was bigger than ne of ma bads so far seems to be rubbing in on ma face constantly...one fear tht was associated wid it got sorted out and the outcome was positive (thank god) and then a peptalk which i do only once in a while with myself to lift ma spirits agn...things seem so much better after that but den i still feel dat in sum demented way it jus rubs in right on ma face...and dat too not always by me...perhaps unintentionally by ma frds..i m sure they mean my good but den how long can a person take that bitch of rubbing in...so its jus sad...

Oops one more thot triggered...y do i think the amount i think...i mean i no i hav asked diz qs before like several times but then i never really found an answer fer it...i no i m not only the kind like diz but it jus makes me wonder....
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(kai one of ma posts i had ritten at home n thot i wud publish it later n as usual i didnt find time in blore so after i end dis...i hav proudly updated ma blog wid whtever i rote n didnt put up yet...lot of crap i no...bt it feels gud cos ma blog never got dis lucky to hav so many updates at one go...newas...toodles fer a wile...little wile...)

My Distant Land

Travel away to a distant land,
softly, quietly, keeping an unknown brand.

For here there is a lot of chaos,
you have to be under a big boss.

For here there are a lot of facades,
hidden and waiting various forms of hazards.

For here you will not find yourself,
massive crowds and you are one elf.

For here you just cannot breathe,
squished and strangled despite your deed.

Travel away to a distant land,
softly, quietly, keeping an unknown brand.

Breathe in the calm and feel the solitude.

Then there is just a smile and a trance.

(Written on OctoBer 29 2007, i think)

Your Ma Hypocrite

Like a bitch you pierce,

Bloody Hypocrite!!!

You only take my pain away,
watching each drop of red,
go drip drip down.

One mind says save it to save me.
One mind says smile at your own doom.

(Written August 31 2007, i think)

Bitch Of My Life

Secondary is what i am,
I feel,
Or maybe i am a bad guesser.

I am told what i mean to people,
Quite a few times,
But maybe i am too paranoid.

Wait is it just same bad luck,
Keeps lurking,
Or maybe i might be correct.

Unlike before there seems to be no one there,
Just a feeling,
Or maybe there is just a silhouette left.

Victimization is another bitch of mine,
Too many bitches around me eh?
Or maybe bad luck again!

A lot is going on about right now,
One after the other,
Something i want and loathe together.

After so long, the head triggered,
For a few minutes,
A few lines of venting away.

At this very moment, I demand!
Ma music, not trivial crap!
Ma basketball, not hurt ego!
A reassurance, not fickle hopes!
A lot of solitude..With a CLEAR MIND!

Or maybe i do need more that a silhouette,
Just about right now,
But the solitude has a superior hand..!

(Written September 10 2007, i think)

Bit By Bit

Slowly crawling in a rapid race,
what will happen of you?

Need a little more on the pace,
If you need to a little of that ace.

Clip Clip tears a part of each limb,
with each met failure.

And yet you trotter on and on,
with what is left of you.

A faint hope that someday,
you will be known.
you will be there.
right at the top.

Right now needs calm,
right now needs false hope,
false because so far hope gives,
Nothing but Disappointment..

(Written August 31 2007)

Hopes Cause A Tick

A little more than efforts,
washed down in the drain.

A little less than assistance,
flew to touch the sky.

The intensity of hurt being small,
but its the every small that makes it big!

The more she tries,
the more she loses,
so much in a demented manner,
makes her laugh at her own losing self.

Though behind that laugh is the hidden tear,
but she has learnt to smile as she walks..in the mass...
Learnt to 'Smile' As She Walks In The Mass!!

(Written August 31 2007)

Its A Storm Always

A weird feel,
an undoubtful heal..
tears not meant to fall,
why would i hear wen there's no call...?

Call not heard,
makes things absurd.
bullshit makes me smile,
i have come a mile.
meet the loner soul,
sinkin deep in the hole.

The harder i tend to try,
the more it makes me cry.
whenever i end up being nice,
more i uncover people like ice.
you would think they are there-solid,
shams worthy of absolutely no bid.

Journey meant to a distant land,
boulevard paved with troubles grand.
not that it is an impossible take,
though shingles on the way cause a wait.
and sometime slithers a demotivating vigor,
that aids fiasco in the head to trigger.

At times life feels like a fantasy,
at times its nothing less than venom,
however, how should i take it and move?

Well that i am yet to reckon!

(Written i think Jan 9 2007)

Old Stuff - New Post

I had ritten quite a few times in blore...bt since i usually didnt hav much time on da net over der...i thot i cud post dese now....hmm....dubai has been gud and after dat day's colg surprise i went to da beach wid mel, aak, saph, ashray and adi...nice ppl da new names....had gud fun n den spent da nite at aak's...mum's almost 70% better....*phew* ok here goes.... wid da old stuff....

Dis 1st one is a poem i had ritten wen i was frustrated cos i liked dis guy n cudnt get over him for soo longgg...even after he started datin dis chick....da poem's fer da chick - a very gud frd of mine....sorry hun i rote dis once upon a time n never blogged since its bitchy....bt i m sure u wud understand if u read dis now...one of ma million immature thingys....peace....!

Hatred Beyod Words

I was the one who introduced you to him,
it was through me that you met him,
and yet you advanced to the brim.

Without a word...
Without a warning...

You just took him away from me...

The whole world told me about it,
how i wish from u i heard the whole bit,
yes you finally told it to me,
but it was too late, let it be...

You just took him away from me...

Now i see them holding hands,
now i feel the love between them,
now she knows him better than i do...

Does she know how is that feel?
something that takes so long to heal...

Like a hundred balloons bursting together,
like a hundred fire crackers lighting the sky,
like a hundred knives stabbing an already painful wound...

Why...no really why would she do that to me???

I even told her.."i still like him..."

Stop...

I don't want to hate her...she has been a friend...

And yet you just took him away from me...

I can't explain the hatred for my bad luck...
i can't explain the feel it gives...
i can't explain myself to get over him...

Do i call it insanity, do i call it a sin?

But its just that.....

I am still crazy about him...

(written on June 17 2006 or July 23 2007, duno wich ones correkt :$)

Successful Surprises :D

Well well well guess whos bck....yaha...da cuckud....teehee...man feels so gud to b bck after 4 freggin months....well abt blore besides dat i m gettin an education of better value, everythin else sucks....da colg, toilets, pollution...blah blah....nudin can beat ma frds at mahe man....seriously...

Hmmm so since yst dat i hav cum bck....i wid saph 1st surprised aak ygoin to her house b4 she gets bck n we both hid in her cupboard....nah da cupboard is still strong n intact....:p so our dearest chikni cudnt believe dat we were back n her luk..hahha worth seein....it was so kewl...

Today me n saph went to colg....to surprise da rest....after seein n talkin to da profs. who most of dem btw are all pretty much da same felt really gud to see us back....den da grand entry in clas...1st to shubha mam wid a hug wile da class starts cheerin n howlin :D n den hugs to da whole class....omgggg it was like one of da best feelin ever.....our dearest mellu cried....hahaha.....so cute...bt too bad i missed it! bt newas i spent da rest f da day till bout 12 30 p.m. meetin, huggin, surprisin and tellin ppl bout me n blore....

Den da red clan went to one of deir domains - House of Shisha....omg no wht shisha feels like after 4 long mnths....aaah heaven....talks n fotos....n den we went back to academic city to drop off mel....den 3 of us left....saph went home n i went to ma other house...(aak's house :p) as usual....laughed so hard after ages man over sumthin so random....kewlnes bcame....n den cuckud came home....

Great start of vaccations wid 2 great days totally filled wid omggg so much....yayiiiiii....cant wait to go crasieee wile i m here.....luv alll u ppl yaar..!! Muahahaha.....

:D

Just An Alarm

I always come to ma blog fer help wen i feel weird....nd diz way its like an alarm fer it to wake up...since i dun blog much i m sure it mus hav fallen into coma or sumthin...ok yea i m talkin crap....

Helllooo to all da ppl out der.....How do u do?

I duno wht xactly to rite....just a date...22nd october 2007.....

And...

Dat i hav a point to prove...so i shall jus wish all d best to maself fer ma xamz wich start tomm...i shall study hard n prosper.....correct...!

End...

Irony of My Boom

A feeling deprived of acceptance by most,
Something not comprehended by many.

Tick - advancement - boom!

Decision did not seek,
Result created an unfortunate victim.

The obsession keeps getting better,
Bloody exsists a pun on it,
As helpless as an addict dancing to a force.

Revolt creates a SATAN...
Acceptance not even an option: the trigger is one sided...

Pleading for an aid,
Anything to pull it's wreath.

Insanity evoked just tears apart,
Self alone is the resort,
But self alone is the slave!

I cannot go on like this.

Anything...Just Anything...to relieve...!

Welcome Back

Hmmm i can jus imagine my blog screamin that to me since i came back to rite on it after a lil more than a mnth...Oh n wile i checked da other blogs it seems every person in dubai is very bizi n doesnt hav time to blog orrr there nudin more left to rite bout....sheeesh...wat a disappointment!..

Ok so it has been more than a mnth since i shifted here...still cant accept the fact dat i m a blore chick now...arghh....well a lot has happnd since i moved here but nooo dun worry i wont rite all of it...i hav learnt to spare ppl a lil more often these days u no.

I m livin wid jan, nisha, nitya, farzu and stef in their flat...oh and saph also.so seven of us..but we usually hav a lot of other ppl spendin time at the house...most of the time wht i do is eat n sleep..most of ma money goes in eatin n travelling...thot ma dad wud get me a bike but dat he says has to wait...

Managin internship, coll n sportz was a bad bad thing...but today last day of work n after dat things will bcum a lottt better...oh a wasp kinda insect bit me on my left thigh jus above the knee wich waz sucha bad thing...i went to da doc n had to take a tetanus (hope i spelt dat rite), 2 diff tablets fer 3 days and a cream wich i still apply on the bite...it had bcum as big as a lemon but is much better now...

Today we all goin to mlore coz we are bored here..hpe dat turns out fun...besides all da happenin in blore i miss drivin in dubai, beaches, gud food (eat junk n chaat most of the time), chocolates (choice usually restricted to Dairy Milk) ma family and house, ma bball frds n playin wid them ( here i m in the mounts team but its nudin like wht playin bball used to be fer me there), sheesha and knowin all da roads and places there...

I m sure there is a lot more but i cant remember and cannot possibly type all dat...

Newaz i guess hav ritten enuf bout to fill in fer a post...shud update in another decade... :P
Till den fer ne1 who still, by mistake also turns up here, wich i sincerely doubt.....toodles and God Bless....

Amazing Bus Journey

Right so ma prev post didnt say much...well frm da time i hav cum to mumbai damn i hav been pretty pissy here n there....it waz pretty borin da two days i stayed der n all i did waz watch tv, go to ma uncle's house n den get attacked by a few mosquitoes...i had many strokes of bad luck man...ma laptop mayb delayed so dats like shit...i thot i wud survive on ma mp3 but guess wah dat new piece of shit got spoilt on its own...sum internal part burnt or sumthin....so i hav sent it back to get it replaced....blast it!!!

Ok so ysterday afternoon i left fer blore at arnd 1 45.. 1st we had diz non a/c bus till andheri n boii thnks to mumbai traffic it took sum lil more dan an hour n i got all sweaty...n den da next bus waz a/c duh coz we had a/c bus booked n it waznt so bad da bus....da journey waz said to b fer 18 hours but da driver said it will take atleast 20 hours....*WTF???* well da evenin waz pretty ok..watched 2 movies wich dey showed apne and good boy bad boy... :P da nite waz da most shittiest thing ever....i jus started chumin ysterday n dat waz a bitch wile travellin in a bus...ma calves were actin funny in da nite so i cudnt sleep....ma left arm waz hurtin n i started thinkin wht if i suffer frm heart attack n die? :P? oh n also i had had a bottle of pepsi so i wanted to pee earlier dan i xpected i wud wan to after movin frm da dinner stop... well newaz coz of all dese stupid things i cudnt sleep evn though i waz so exhausted...n da rest of da bus waz sleeepin so peacefully wich made me feel even more worse...i cried like da whole nite in frustration n pityin ma poor self.... IT WAZ BAD!!! durin da entire journey der were like about a dozen short stops n 2 proper stops fer like dinner n breakfast today....hey n i can still feel a lil numbness in ma ass frm sittin fer so longgg....20 hours u no...yea der were breaks n stops but still trust me it waz bad...

Finally i reached today at 11 in da mornin n me n ma dad r stayin in diz shitty hotel wich has indian toilets widout flush...ARGH!!! newaz i came to da gang's flat to meet dem n find out wht da admission scene is like...welll seems like its gonna take longer dan i thot n will b a lil more complicated dan i hoped....but it will b a while till i no fer sure whts happenin...another wait fer me!! ok then!!!!

Newaz now dat i poured ma heart out here i think i will end it...too much of frustration in one post is not gud i no....

*End*

Aamchi Mumbai :P

Yaha fellaz i reached mumbai safely yesterday at arnd one in the mornin...damn...ma new house wer we jus recently shifted is pretty neat n spacious...now withhin next 2 days hopefully i shall leave mumbai n go to blore to try n get admission...damn yst in cab to ma house waz kinda weird...i started thinkin how things can change....damn...i usually cum here fer vaccations n now its gonna b like i will cum to dubai fer vaccations....shit....unless i dun get admission or sumthin...lolzz....dat wud b funny den... all da hype n da farewell n da miss us' n luv us' will go to waste...

Da weather is pretty eccky out here....got to witness da rains frm da cab itself n right now i waz so bored at home dat i jus got here to sit onl...i miss ma dxb pc... :( well diz thing is so kewl dat wile i waz so intensly typin ma fingers off in diz window fer ma blog dat ma pc restarted n thnks to da automatic savin sum of it waz still der...so i continued...

Newaz i cant think of much to rite bout n diz is not da kind of pc wich gives me da feel to blog...i shall return...till den whoever still reads diz...tata...n pray i survive ma massive mosquito attacks...:P

P.S - Habbie 100th post to ma most dearest bloggie...absolutely luv it... :P

Toodles...

Fun Came

Hmm the blogging world has hushed down again....damn life is so bizi... :P

18th june: last xam n da end of second semester... me saph n aakanksha went to al nasr fer ice skating....dey both skate pretty ok...i used to but den lost touch n dat day again i kinda got da drift back...we clicked quite sum pictures n it waz lotta fun...

(me n saph wile skating.... :) )

Dey tried droppin me down but den finally dey didnt...oh but dey did harass me wid massive ice attacks.. after skatin we were fulin arnd in da park(lolz me chained...in da park...:P)

Den went to lamcy wer dese ppl had barf ka gola n i went to check out skates fer saph...next we headed home but da wait fer da bus waz a bitch...

21st june: saph treated us dat day fer her bday wich waz on 22nd june...(me mel n saph in da rec room...bored in da mornin...:P)

Early mornin we went to coll coz we all n matty were gonna make her cut cake...since matty cudnt cum later fer da treat... aak baked an awesum cake n it waz lotsa fun dirtyin saph's pretty face... :P den da four of us (me,aak,saph,mel n merw) took da karama bus n went to saph's place...(mel n saphie in da karama bus...)

She cooked pasta fer us wich she thot luked like white goo but i didnt think so n tasted wow at da same timee...i hogged da most :D ... next four of us minus merw went to wafi city encounter zone... we got diz 2 hours ka band wid wich we cud go in all da playin areas not da arcade games if i made sense...1st we saw 'da tomb' a horror house kinda thing wich waz not scary n we were laughin wen we came out....mel's screamin waz jus awesummm.. :) next we played in da crystal maze n our resultz said we were da top team of da day so far... after dat we sat in diz mini roller coaster sorta ride wich we cudnt get da enuf of...it waz so kewll went all upside down n sidewards n everythn... (dese were da blades we gav saphy...)

Next waz rollerblading wer mel didnt cum n da rest three of us went...da blades were stinky, half broken n so uncomfortable but we still had lotta fun...finally we took a cab n got down near aak's place...mel n saph went to aak's house n i went home frm wer i went to ajman....

21st (evenin) 22nd nd 23rd june: i met nauseen after soo long...dat is havin a stayover...it waz so kewl...goin crazie over random things, laughin like wohhh, eatin unda noodles, buyin n eatin junk in da nite and watchin movies....Fun Came - Kewlness Plus! :D

Today after cumin back i hav jus been sittin onl and den i waz sortin out ma folders...i waz readin a few old saved convos n omgg sum r so funny, sum so stupid n sum so freaky n summm jus so cute...newaz its still not decided wether i leave or stay...hopefully by monday i will no fer sure n final....

P.S - aak, saph, mel, naus n jan (miss ya biatch!!) i luv ya guys soo much... :$ yes pick on me now...fine... i m used to it...:P

end...!

Boredom Can Make U Write

Heya its meenal reporting from the college library... i had my second last xam for the sem and it went fine...da shitty way in wich i prepared it went pretttyy gudd...yahaaa!! so i had to stay back coz i hav to talk to ma prof. bout transferin procedures n shit...

Damn i hav never seen ma coll so deserted... i mean i no we cum to study in a desert but den xam time is like u cant see ne1...DUH!!! coz dey r in da rooms ritin deir xamz..! oopz...dat waz a puke of boredom overdose...back to normal...ahem ahem!!

As i was sayin i waited outside ma prof.'s room fer half an hour since he was bizi talkin to 2 other ppl...n den finally he came outta his room...but LO! he had to go fer xam invigilation so he says u go to da library n i shal talk to u after i m done wid ma invigilation duty...right so i came to da library n omggg its never been so quiet...hardly 5-6 ppl sittin n worse is da other room wich has da pcs n da internet...wen i entered der were only 2 ppl sittin in da whole room n it waz so bloody quiet dat i cud clearly hear da cpus' goin 'whissssss'..i got diz sudden feelin like i waz trapped in a desert wid no escape...not a very gud feelin...well rite now a couple of more ppl came in n der is sum sort of talkin agn...but dat silence felt weird fer sum weird reason!!!

So i m stuck here till 4 30 wid only 2 cigs to keep me company and i think i m hungry so i will go n eat sumthin before i meet ma HOD...

Shucks its so bad to see wht boredom can do to sumone!!!

*Bangs Head*

Yes! i m back to whining again!! wtf naa...?

I hav xamz and i DO NOT feel like studyin...well i keep doin dat durin all ma xamz but diz time its a lil more dan normal not wantin to study...arghh..

I do not want to leave ma college and go to india...On one side ma folks say i hav no other choice and on da other side dey randomly say fine den u dun go but u help here n stay...decide already will ya??!!!

I really really wana play sum bball...dats like one of ma ultimate "habbie cumz" thingy...cant wait till i play....

I m very addicted to facebook even though half da things we do on it r so lame but guess wht i still accept all invites to try those things n i try dem also.

Going to da beach feeling is happenin a lil more dan too much..i used to say i get weird vibes frm da beach...omggg wer da world is headed to? :P

Der is a BABA Mithun movie playin on star gold rite now wich is annoyin even though i aint watchin da tv...

I waz so freggin touched today...professor, a couple of frds...i dun care call me a sentimental freak but *sniff sniff* came...

Every chotu thing gives me a sign n i get all OMGG!!! omg i suck!!(correkt no jan!?)

Ok i will spare u fer a while. Stop.

Backward Flip

We all go thru phases in life...damn i hav been one of da few ppl i think whoz been one of da most yedaa ppl....hmm...i hav been cleanin ma inbox n old messages n shit...its like i hav so much of junk like fwrds saved wich at dat point of time were like omg n now is like omggg wtf waz i thinkin....SHEESH!!! dey are like pointless to me now...

There are like so many emailz wich i hav ritten r like so emo, crappy, kiddish...omggg i cant believe i waz dat once upon a time...oh but den if i hadnt been dat there....den i wudnt be me dat is wht i m here, right now....shit its so awesome to see ur own self change like nethin in sum 2 years of time...its as if sumone swirled a magic wand or sumthin...however i still keep few things like convos, fwrds, picz, emailz and so on maybe jus fer a word or a sentence in it wich meanz a lot to me...

Another thing i realised is dat i havn't ritten sumthin in soo long...i miss ritin...diz post jus triggered my senses fer a possible thing i cud rite bout but den i hav an xam tomm so i dun hav time...n den later i hope i still remember wht i thot of rite now..

Besides a few things i really wish i cud do and have...
1. Get Drunk.
2. Buy an ipod and a new fone.
3. Get Black and Yellow bball shoes.
4. Go to the beach and sit near da water.
5. Go clubbing.
6. Play basketball.
7. Lastly do one thing wich i wudnt get to do regularly..sumthin different, out of da box, sumthin new...though i duno wat but yea...

I am in a very weird and different mood right now...its like i m happie and i guess i m bored... :P oh nd i hav an xam tomm nd as usual i don't feel like studyin...

Hey shud i stop ritin...?
Ok i got the answer...!

Online Tests

Your Sensitivity Score: 53%

As far as sensitivity goes, you're a lot more in tune than most people.You can't help but be touched by what's around you - good and bad.But when things do get really bad around you, you are strong enough not to break down.

Are'>http://www.blogthings.com/areyouextremelysensitivequiz/">Are You Extremely Sensitive?

You Have Low Self Esteem 52% of the Time

While you sometimes feel good about yourself, you tend to struggle a little with self esteem issues.It's not about changing who you are, it's about accepting your faults. You just need to be less critical and demanding of yourself!

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howisyourselfesteemquiz/">How is Your Self Esteem?

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Honest

Like it or not, your friends are going to hear the truth from you.You know that the truth hurts, but living a life of lies is much worse. So while you're definitely kind and supportive, you don't pull any punches with your friends.Everyone knows where they stand with you. And what you like and dislike about them. While some may be initially turned off by your honesty, your friends have come to consider it a virtue.After all, in world of white lies and deceptive politeness, you can be counted on for honesty and integrity. Your friends need you most when: They need good advice or an intelligent opinion You really can't be friends with: Needy, emotional people Your friendship quote: "True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance."

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatmakesyouagoodfriendquiz/">What Makes You a Good Friend?

You Are 33% Jealous

You're occasionally jealous, but you wouldn't be human if you weren'tYou keep your jealousy under control. You accept it, deal with it, and move on.In fact, most people would be surprised to know that there's a jealous bone in your body.So congratulate yourself for keeping your emotional impulses under control!

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howjealousareyouquiz/">How Jealous Are You?

You Are the Ego

You take a balanced approach to your life.You definitely aren't afraid to act out on your desires - even crazy ones.But you usually think first. Morals drive you as much as hedonism does.You've been able to live a life of pleasure... without living a life of excess.

Are'>http://www.blogthings.com/areyouidegoorsuperegoquiz/">Are You Id, Ego, or Superego?

Enuf fer now...i shall take more n post more later... :D

I m In Loveee :P

Yeah i no dese days i blog a lil more than often...well i keep gettin dese cravings of ritin ne not so important stuff also on my blog....*thinks*...hmm i waz actually wonderin wht to put up but my thots abruptly stopped wen i got diz orkut mesg....

jayadurai muthiah <1146428959300083611@mail.orkut.com>
to me 3:08 am (0 minutes ago)

hi dear

i love uuu
will u be my friend??????

This message was sent to you by jayadurai muthiah. To see jayadurai's profile click:http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=1146428959300083611* * *

Ok since i am sittin jobless right now i went to check out whoz da dude who sends me diz "wonderful" mesg....

Apparently hez an easy going 26 years old dude who lives alone, with kids and with parents *rolls eyes*

Hez done a bachelor's degree and is an engineer in da manufacturin n chemicals field....

Now da brownie....his personal profile.... :D

jai

ideal match: girl with a mole on her nose,overlapped teeth...with a pony tail (hilarious)
first thing you will notice about me: hair (i noticed his malu moochi:P)
height: 178 centimeters
build: athletic ( i dun think so)
looks: average (hahah...hes jus messin wid ya)
best feature: chest ( diz was da ultimate one!!!)
turn ons: assertiveness
five things i can't live without: parents,soccer,blue flower,rain,tress (ok then)
in my bedroom you will find: blue flower (ahaan right!!!)

You Are Next!

Hello!!! How r... :P sory desi soaps influence...jus watchin da awards....

Oh today i had one of my kickass individual presentation...fer political science...my topic waz north korea - the nuclear program....damn i still cant believe i went thru da entire torture of stayin up da whole nite fer my presentation today....*yawns* but den da presentation was pretty ok...and one thing less frm my saga of extreme sloggin...

Wht got me to post is dat as i was watchin da other presentations goin on...i cudnt stop gigglin fer petite things like rong prounounciations, fake accent and stuff like dat...diz made me wonder how funny or bad wud it be wen i wud b doin my presentation...coz even i had moments wer i suffered frm acute memory lapses....i had times wen i struggled to pronounce sumthin as simple as nuclear non proliferation treaty!!! yea but den obviously i waz laughin at few xtreme cases of funny presentations...coz sum of dem were like pathetic...dey shud hav seriously done atleast a lil preparation considerin dat it waz a presentation n dat too final fer da subject...

I jus got diz another sudden thing like usually we ignore whtever bad a fellow frd does...u no wht i mean...any random classmate whom u wudnt care much is whtever or unless its a frd or a gud frd den u totally understand...we even refrain frm askin questions after da presentation...

Ey yaar i wana see myself doin a presentation now as an audience...y isnt der a method wer u can see ur own self as a diff person...?!!?

Newaz i m confused now n i m not sure wht all i wanted to say n wht all i actually said...

I m done....

Sputter.. Sputter.. Cough.. Cough..

I realised i wana blog before da saga of my xtreme sloggin starts frm next week...not dat i wont blog if sumthin worthwile cumz up but den oho i will barely hav time fer meself....

Ysterday i took jan to academic city since she had to meet a few ppl frm my coll n see da coll itself... our planz were all set till ma mum told me da car is screwed up..argghh!! sum battery issue...but we still took da car...n it did stop..right in middle of da maktoum bridge... :D but coincidently zaher n one of his frd were passin by bout da same time frm der so we called dem fer help...a police dude also came n dey charged da battery of ma car... it started movin agn...yayzz...n we reached sumwer close to rashid hospital but lo! it stopped agn...so zaher n his frd both da poor lads had to push ma car till we parked it in rashid hospital parkin lot itself...den me n jan went along wid dem to coll in deir car...thnxx so much u guys fer cumin to our rescue...

After we reached coll it waz soo much fun dat day....i think we laughed a lil more dan xtra dat day...we even indulged in skylers fer breakfast....me n merwyn cudnt stop pickin at each other...mel waz da cutest thing ever as usual but wait actually jan n merw were gangin up on me, oh but dey didnt get newer much.. :P

After dat we took da deira bus n headed back home coz we had to go out in da evenin agn...da entire bus journey we kept clickin pictures in weird n g poses....by da time we reached home we had 23 picz (found out later) + 2 clicked in coll before.... :P it waz one heck of an awesum day!!!

In da evenin me, jan, jo, aman nd mohit met up in atrium fer shisha..dat waz another fun came thing...aman n mohit left to get sum book frm deir coll n den agn me jan n jo were goin crazie wid lame jokes n lotsa more picz....aman came back and den later he dropped me n jan home also...oh but i waz drivin his car....fun came...thnxxx so much aman fer lettin drive nd droppin.. :D
.................................................................................................

On other notes i m kinda feelin proud of maself today....i no y n fer wat n i m actually glad fer it....dey r small things but den i m glad bout da way i take dem n da way i react to dem n da way i m thinkin dese days which usually otherwise i get all omgg bout.... i hav a lota calm arnd me...i like.... oh nd den ders keep holdin on by avril lavigne wich i got to no frm jan...dat song is like one of da best things ever....i luv it!!!

Newaz i think i m done fer now...toodles... :P

TicK Tock and Wham!!!

Hmmm past 3 weeks had been like kewlness fer me...yea der has been like a lot of stuff like assignments n presentations in coll wich get pissin off but despite all dat i actually was more like wht i used to be.....nudin called blahness and pissiness and whining was existing fer a change...

I was more like dancing arnd, foolin arnd wid all frds, taking things so calmly dat even calmly wud feel hyper in front of my calmness...

But after so many days yesterday like haw bcame....Nudin biggie but den i thot i had cum a long way and den i kinda realised dat i hav hardly moved... :P dat kinda disappointed me....

It started frm a random playing arnd n ended up into discussin old stuff n pros n cons n etc etc...

Sarah stayed over and i m sure i did a very gud job of speaking da crap outta my mouth n her ears lissenin the shit outta my crap...!!!

But on other news...i dun like family issues...dey alwaz piss me off very easily... and also i hav athletics tomm so all da best to me...

Oh but i no i still need to go a long way....Patience...i will...

'Ta'

Just A Post

Heya to all da ppl out der...not many to be seen arnd dese days...

Well no particular reason to blog actually...jus dat i hav been playin diz tournament IBS (indian basketball society) n hav reached da semi-finalz...yea its not like a big deal coz der r only 4 teams n we played against da 3 of dem n won 2 outta 3....now is da main 2 matches semiz n da finalz dat is if we win da semiz...

I got jan man to watch our game today...hope u didnt get bored gurl, thinkin bout wht an anti-sportz person u r :P i loue u no... ;)

Oh after da game we did go fer da funfair wich waz pretty borin though we did meet a few frds and teachers....

After dat me n jan headed fer lamcy to eat and we had lasagne (plz correct ma spellin if i m rong:P) n den went home...oh before we head home jan did tell me bout her cuzin in CHIKAGO (dats how she prounounced it) LMAO....

Dats it fer da day....

Bday Picz

Da great birthday gurl....:D

Frm behind melissa, aakanksha, sapphire and me...
Me and saphie wid ma poochidoo... :) loue overflowin...
Me and aakanksha....Ma super loue...she smiled specially fer me...
Aah me wid da 'ABU DHABI SHEIKHA'...*salaamofy in respect to da sheikha* long live da sheikha...lolz...

Yea i no quite late but i din get time before...so yaha...

Laterz...

Cute Little Creatures

Yes today was a pretty long day....started as early as 6ish...well 5 days of da week start almost dat early but today was ethnic day...so had to do all jhol of sari n makeup n crap... :P yea i did miss my bus wich was not a very surprisin thing....but den i reached coll by 9 20(2nd lecture) after droppin me bua...made a grand entry in class wid sari :P
Da day was lotsa fun....quite many picz, dancin, did ramp walkin da whole class wich had diz contest (not gettin into details), complimentin each other n goin crazie...

We left coll by like 1 45 ish coz me, aak n saph were gonna go to saph's house n chnge n den go fer sheesha n meet da jan man since she came back frm blore today.....YAYZ MY LOUE IS BACK!!! :D but guess wht her flite got delayed n we finally didnt get to meet her....but me, saph, aak n sarah (joined in later) did go fer sheesha newaz...

Den i had to head fer work...BLUGH!!!! london dairy promotion...it is da shittiest thing i cud hav ever agreed to do...today da table set-up waz a bitch, samples werent der, no cups n i had to giv ice-cream?!, rong permission paper n da worst lamcy doesnt allow u to keep ur fone wid u.. :( so i had to b away frm my fone fer like 3 n half hours.... :O

So far iwas jus summarisin da day...now cumz da actual post :P wile promotin today i realized how adorable sum kids can get....

KID 1 - he n his mum came to taste ice cream n hes waitin der like an innocent thing till i fill a spoon n giv it to him..wen i did giv he didnt take it but came fwrd n i fed him. :) dat feelin waz soo nice to feed a kid a spoon of ice cream...

KID 2 - did not taste da ice-cream i waz givin but had diz other cone...n asks me aunty i wan diz one..i go like okay den u buy dat one...aunty can i eat diz now....i m like no u cant....aunty can i pay n den it...i m like yea den u can....aunty can i hold da cone in my hand n not keep it in da trolley...i m like no it will melt...u put it in da trolley...*walks off* :D (dat was da best kid:P)

KID 3 - a not so small gurl was standin n talkin to me tellin me how she doesnt eat ice creams nemore...coz she's afraid of gettin cavities...n how her bro already has a cavity..n so on...before goin she happily bids me bye...

Others include feedin 2 more kids....who so cutely ate n another kid a gurl wantin to buy a chocolate flavored ice cream n still pointin at a calfornia raisins tin of london dairy...:P

Yea i finally got home tired after a long day but i really wanted to post bout dese cute lil things...

P.S - Jan is back to dubai....
P.P.S - bonus - shes no more in bumblefuckhland shj but now in deira!!?!! teehee :D

Ok khallas....

Which One Would U Pick?

Heya der....!

I hav so many things in ma mind wich i wana rite bout n also upload a few of my chotu works wich are a result of boredom n lostgiri in class durin lecutures..welll but i dun find da time bcozz der r like so many things goin on right now in coll n stuf..its jus ahhh...

Newaz today wile i waz sittin fer my 1st two lectures i recalled a question wich i had got in one of da tests i took recently...

Question: Pick one of the followin if u were given a power....
Options - 1. ability to read minds.
2. ability to be invisible.
3. ability to fly.
4. ability to shape-shift.

Fer me i had picked the first one coz fer da kind of person i am, i m usually most thingy wid frd and issues or things wid them....so it wud b so kewl to no wht xactly each of my frd had in his or her mind....hmmm...n besides dat omgg der r so many other things wich wud b so awesum if i cud read minds but i m not listin all..i m very tired today...walked fer like more dan an hour today non-stop....aaahhh came....

Newaz tats it fer now...Ciao....

So Whose The Enemy?

So Whose The Enemy?

I have blamed my luck,
I have blamed the time,
I have blamed the people,
And i have blamed my life...

Well, whose the senstive brat?
Whose the one who seeks attention?
Whose the one who wants to be pampered?
And whose the one who can't let go of things?

Why? then... i still cry!!!
Why? then... i still complain!!!
Why? then... i still whine!!!
Why? then... i still am the best enemy of my own!!!

I guess i know everythin and yet i don't want to realize...

So whoze the enemy again??? LOLZZZ!!!

The Commencement

Forgive me blog fer putting in a late bday post...

Hmm 31st of march was the commencement of cuckud's last teen year...damn....
Da bday wishes started frm 11 45 p.m da prev night itself...apparently ma frd melissa waz sleepy n din wana wait till 12 so she wished me at 11 45... :P well she sent a mesg arnd 12 newaz...hahaha....

Next day i woke up all happy n fresh...oyi heyloo it waz my bday :) i had a lunch treat planned at mini chinese by arnd 2ish or 3ish...well sarah reached at 1 30...i duno how she gt dat time coz i dun remember tellin her dat time...ok der were sarah, 2 sameers :P, nauseen bajie, rashid, siyab, mohit, sana, jyoti, manisha, neelam and omgg myself.. :P we had a grand lunch at da place and omgg i luv da food at dat place....
Nauseen gave me diz cutee white tshirt wid pink ritin on it...sameer gave me diz yellow adidas t shirt wich is jus wow...manisha gave me diz cute pink bracelet wich says cuckud:)...neelam gave me diz silver coin fer gud luck...oh n siyab n mohit got me black forest cake..yummm

Den i headed to saph's place wer she waz wrappin my gift so she wudnt leme in her room at 1st n den she got ready n off we went to pick up melissa frm aud...da trip to pick her up waz longgg n omggg coz i cudnt get enuf of takin rong turns n roads...hahaha...sorry mel to make u wait so long....after dat da 3 of us headed to aakanksha's place....
First i had diz gifts openin session wer mel gave me diz hot hot halter top...saph n aak gave me diz huge pine cig box wich had a straightner (since i hav diz fad fer straight hair) and omgg a big white doggie wid 2 black spots...one on his eye n one on his stomach...his name is poochidoo... :D with dat i got da kewlest yellow card made by aak n saph agn...whieeeeee :D

After dat we had dinner (pizza frm pizza hut) wich waz omgg i luv pizza...den we headed fer a smokes session in a balcony on da 1st floor...der we played diz stupid truth only game...though it waz funnn...Later wen we got back to aak's place we had diz cake eating session....ohh we even had lotsa picz n videos...teehee dey r all so cute... ;) next on agenda was watchin the exorcism of emily rose...accordin to da three of dem it is oh sucha scary movie (all of dem had watched it before)...well i m still waitin fer da scary part.... :P

Oh boy was i xhausted by da end of da movie...i hit da sack by like 4 ish...saph slept like fer 10 minz before we had to b up fer coll....yea we had coll da next day....mel n aak were da only ones who didnt sleep da whole nite....damn it was sucha awesome dayy....luv u guys fer everythin u did fer me.... =>

P.S - Happy 19th birthday to me....
P.P.S - Jan i missed u moreeee dan nethin u biatch....like really....loue u whore, muahhh :D
P.P.P.S - picz in next post since diz is hugeee already...not a new thing but whtever....

End...!

Serious Crisis

Oh u dun need to worry dat freak der she goes agn wid one of her whinin sessions...diz waz da reason given to me by my coach recently wen he didnt send us fer a basketball game fer a tournament...damnit...i dunno whts his problem in life really...
So i m kinda realising dat i m only wastin my sports talent in Mahe n fer Mahe wich is sucha shame bcozzz i cannot stand losin all da time....like heylooo...as it is i hav soo much of ego stuffed in me...imagine losin all da time... :O

But the other day i waz surprised coz i didnt giv a typical xpected reaction of meenal on da not goin fer da match issue...i was jus tooo pissed n broke my pact wid self of not smokin till 1st may...newaz dat waz jus one day n i m back wid da pact (my birthday is an xception of course!!:)) but da next day wen i went fer a throwball game n i got to witness da other bball games happenin...boy dat day i really felt bad n upset...so it did hit me da next day...

Oh infact past 2 days i hav been feelin really calm n gud fer no reason agn...like recently i had my self personality test analysed by my prof. n shes like sucha smart dude..it waz soo much fun talkin to her bout it...my analysis said dat i portray sumthin wich i in actual am not n dat wud b coz i hav lotsa frds to pamper me...(ok jan u told me sumthin similar in blore already) but other things came out were i seek attention (trueee) and i alwayz wana b popular...so dats y...but my qualities dat were portrayed by da test wer all gud n strong...so i jus need to strive to hav a stronger character nd think more clearly...need to bring my mood swings to more of a constant pace...

So cuckud finally workin kickass to get a hold n get a life while everythin lasts fer me...yea like i din no dat i waz supposed to do dat....sure i did....but its jus dat right now i m actually doin it :)

Lukin fwrd to see all ya ppl after chotu long time....since we recently met.... :P

TaTa...!!!

New Identity

Yesterday i had gone fer shisha wid saph n aakanksha...dey made me wait fer 52 minutes..though i only left my house fer dat place widout tellin dem...:P:P so its okay...damn its close to a month since i went fer shisha...it felt SO GUD.... :)

Ahem! dats not wht i waz posting bout actually...i had a question...to how many of u i ever seemed to look like an iranian?
Well yesterday i had two people who asked me dat question: Are You Iranian?

Situation 1 - i waz in a random grocery next to da shisha place buyin chocolates to kill time...while payin...

Da guy at da counter: are u irani?
Me: *looks up confused, not sure if heard right* huh?
Da guy at da counter: repeats question.
Me: noo!!??!! *gives an enquiring look*
Da guy at da counter: oh i thought u r irani!

Situation 2 - i waz walkin home after we got done wid shisha as usual lost n wid music in ears..

A random lady walkin on da road: *mumbles* to get attention..xcuze me?
Me: *taking off one ear plug* yea?
A random lady walkin on da road: are u irani?
Me: *shakes head, confused again* no i m not, y?
A random lady walkin on da road: oh..! *smiles* i thought u were irani...*still smilin n walks off*

I have had ppl askin me sumthin dat i m not before but i havent had 2 ppl askin me da same sumthin dat i m not dat too on da same day...lolzz...so it jus made me think 'y was i lukin so iranian dat day?' n i felt like puttin diz upto... :P

Newaz so tats bout it n now i m off to finish my i think 3 pendin assignments fer tomm...oh freak i hav a test too... :(

*Time Out*

Late Night & Unplanned

Its bloody 3:03 in da mornin....

I jus had a cup of vanilla ice-cream...well not dat i usually eat ice-cream so late on a normal basis or not dat i really felt diz urge of eatin ice-cream but i still had it...coz i new it was kept der in da ice of my fridge....chocolates, ice-creams, bbal games they all usually help me to calm down n feel gud....yeaha dey do....

I hav been pretty restless (in mind) n weird past few days....like diz weekend all i did waz sleep like wohh...besides goin fer nauseen's barbeque bday party at jumeirah beach park...dat waz a gud one...lolz nauseen bajie no more a teen...aah...omggg...lolzz....rite now i aint sleepy....n i also no da fact dat i will almost b floored in coll tomm.....!!!?

I dun like my dsl connecion...like initially it wudnt work coz der waz an error wid da cable line in my bldgin n now after i got back frm me trip its 10 times better but right now its slowing down every 20 minz....well i m tolerating it....whtever random....

Right so past few days i havent been talkin to ppl much....n today i dunno i waz so bored dat i went on jan's blog n started readin her archives frm da scratch.....well all diz wile i didnt realise but she does hav sum really neat posts....damn cute....i read till april 2006 n stopped coz i thot i hav to try sleepin soon but guess wht?!! i m bloggin here now...:P oh jan's blog did bring back tones of flashes, thoughts - memories....like i didnt no dat wud happen but yea whtever....

I m not sure wht xactly i m tryin to say thru diz post...it alwayz happens...i m clear wen i m talkin to myself bout it n da minute i sit to rite it or say it to sumone....whoosh!!!! i m all confused...!!! is dat weird or is DAT weird?

Well i waz thinkin bout da way i m alwayz pampered by my close frds..like wow da way dey put up wid me all da time....not to ferget der hav been changes in da ways of pamperin n lotsa related issues but i guess dats fer da better...i dunno if i make sense here but like right now at diz very moment i wish i cud b sumone in place of one of my frds n xperience wht it is like to hear, pamper or console or whtever meenal.....weird huh!!!?

Ok diz waz supposed to b a short one but i guess i m yet to master da art of keepin it short..however now i suddenly feel like mentioning a few ppl who mean a lot to me in life right now....Jan, Nauseen, Aakanksha, Saph.....
Ahaaaaaannnn.....so *cuckud turns red after typin diz* *unsure vibes overflowin*...
Well i still miss skoool too n not to ferget all my classmates....hmmmm.....

So i dun care bout ritin things like dese...coz fer me my instincts jus asked me to type n sum ppl do no i do whtever dey say....well i m not sure if i did proper justification to my thoughts right now but i think i need to stop n try gettin sum sleep...

Its 4:06 a.m. rite now....

Unknown Vibe

Ahaan so today da cuckud came back after a trip of 16 days to india...in short...i left dubai on 10th feb & reached on 11th feb...after 3 days on da 14th i went to blore.... der da whole gang knew i waz cumin down xcept jan...it worked wonders...jan man waz completely shocked...oh i made sure i waz a pain in da freggin ass to her...after all its my jan man....after months...dun i hav full rights to bug her....!!!!:D

Newaz blore waz like super cool....(except da mosquitoe attacks)it waz a change i really really wanted....i did everythin wid da gang (jan,nitya,nisha,wayne,redy,steff) like shoppin, billiards, pub, clubbin, loafin arnd, fulin arnd, watch movies, clean da house, make maggie, da twinies bday, da church n dinner fer deir parents anniversary...awesumnes...like everythin...ohh i even got drunk...i made jan do sum work n take care of me...duh!!!!she had to bunk more coll fer my sake wer shes already pretty short fer attendence...:P

I waz in blore till da 23rd....24th mornin i left fer bombay and on 26th dats today...(was) i came back to dubai....its so weird how a person cant get enuf of sumthin...yea i started misssin jan as soon as i reached bombay....also all da stuff i waz doin wid dese peepz...but i felt happy cumin back after diz change....meetin aak n saph after a span of a lil more dan 2 weeks in da same old sheesha cafe of ours....da lame jokes,da pickin on me as usual....i missed so muj of all dat wen i waz in blore...(god diz chick is impossible:P)

Well i dunno i waz onl gettin done wid da 120 mails dat piled up durin da time i waz travellin n a particular thingy wich i checked (not a mail) brought back not so pleasant memories...n i got diz urge to blog....well newaz i m over da former bit but den suddenly i start missin da jan man....so muj....it waz weird...coz it waz like a tick n boom!!! well i hav my same old ways to feel better n den a line told to me made me feel even better...i like...newaz i m done fer now...

(close post)...

Seems Much Better

Heya folks...well yea after my long list of frustrated and blah posts, Cuckud rites a nice one...datz coz i m feelin much better today..however everythin goin smoothly n nicely n in my favour also freaks me out...(damn shes hopeless:P) no coz it seems like da calm before another storm...hmm nevermind....
Its like da past few days i hav been like sooo frustrated and depressed...its sad coz all da things involved are so petite, keep happenin one after da other n den jus pile up n lead to diz massive pissy phase...i freaked out my parents bout diz...i was like so cranky and angry and senti...like omggg!!!

Newaz updatin bout me life...coll is closed and i hav vaccations till da 18th feb...i started workin frm sunday n will work till thursday....on same thursday i got my finalz fer da pepsi tournament in global village...so whoever reads diz before thursday dun fegget to hope fer da best fer me n me team...:P hey friday agn i hav other matches to play...n sat..i shall not reveal..n fer those who no sshuush...:D rite now i m jus hopin dat everythin goes accordin to planz n goes well...coz if it doesnt den KaBoOm...:P cuckud will no like.....

Ok now i cant think of nemore to say...i had to update since ppl r bored of seein da same post everyday....(yea i shall dedicate diz post to u....MY LOUE :P:P:P)

P.S - 'Painter Dude' and 'Child' are meany meany ppl coz dey irritate da shit outta me over da things wich i blurted wen i very recently got sloshed....:$ U both suck :( :P :(
but da 'painter dude' totally rocked it to safety....thnx....:P yea rite Baalzz!

P.S agn - After soo long da medicine of blahness bottle opened n relieved....luv it, muah....

Hmmm i m done fer now.....tadazzz....

Kill Me Bitch, Kill Me Slow...

Sitting alone randomly,
with a cigarette in the mouth,
Take a slow drag,
and breathe it back out.

Inhale the damn thing with a sweet smile,
gather the smoke and slowly let it pile.

Tell me how it feels?
seems like all the troubles healed.

But do you realise what it does to me?
I wish you could peak and have a see.

Have you felt packed in a room full of smoke?
you want to escape but you have no hope.

Kill Me Bitch, Kill Me Slow...
but might as well do it in one go.

Like stabbing knife one lung at a time,
f*** all the respiration in a line.

Give me in like for a debt,
I am screwed, which you don't get.

How about inhaling again?
but without a smile...
How about letting your thoughts?
create a new and better file...

Try to realise that it is wrong,
stop over-estimating that i am strong.

Quit the damn drags,
please! let me breathe...
do me a favour...???
delay the wear of the 'ulitimate wreath'

Or...

KILL ME BITCH, KILL ME SLOW...
But might as well do it in one go...!!!

Recollections

Hmm..i waz sittin and tweezin my upper lip wen i started thinkin...not dat my mind doesnt think on a normal basis but yea sumthin in specific fer a change...

Well i m suppsoed to b goin to watch da sports day of my skool tomm...n i cant tell u how sad i m...
i kinda realised how i wont b runnin on dat same track of dat same stadium tomm..!!
i realised i will b watchin da whole thing but i wont b oh so nervous n my heart poundin jus before da whistle...
how i wont b one of da so many ppl who keep fingers crossed to hear da end results of da sports day champs n da march past winners...
how i wont b counting how many certificates i got or comparin medals wid da other chicks...

So yea dats a few of da million thoughts dat flashed thru my head bout sports day...besides dat i cant believe how much i hav been missin skool past few days...prolly da whole realisation wich i failed to realise wen i left skool is cumin crashin down rite now??!!! Its really sad man...da whole innocence of bein skool kids, tuitions, skool uniform ( believe me i pretty much get frustrated at times in da mornin wen i hav to decide wat to wear to coll everyday!!), 'recess' - how after those 4 long borin periods we got to hog fer like merely 20 minz..., da strict attendin of class wer bunkin waz so not easy, ASSEMBLIES....gosh how can i ferget dem...atleast i prayed fer dat reason one of da few things in da mornin..., crazy lil skool kid indulgences, aaahhhh.......

I feel like a freggin old woman now.....! Also in abt 2 mnths time i will start livin my last teen year...n wht den...HAW I M NO MORE A TEEN!!!!? no i wudnt wana hear dat....

Cumon time u goin too fast...slow down bitch....!!!!

P.S - not to ferget i started coll like a few mnths back n time has raced so fast dat i m almost gonna finish 1st sem....Brutal reality of now....xamz...fer wich i m supposed to work my ass but i aint doin dat....Damn....GOD DUDE bless me...!

End....!

The Dunce Cap

Here as i am sitting in class,
One random chick among the mass.

Half way through my first sem,
Moving towards the feel of an unwanted gem.

Why do my high spirits don't work?
Why don't they flow and perk?

Ignorance, loner soul and extreme sensitivity,
They seem to work wonders!!!?
And my way piles up with minor blunders...

The EGO receives a hard slap,
CuCkUd don't like the dunce cap...
.................................................................................................................................

Yaha rote diz during a lecture of communication studies...y wud i rite diz? well i was feelin bad and stupid since i aint really happy wid my internal marks...newaz...laterzz...

End...!